massive shame of having, almost deliberately, chosen to obstinately screw things up for four years.
I am confused, why shame? I see nothing here to be ashamed of.
can we treat this as sunk cost fallacy? The past doesn’t matter except for when it shapes the current situation. Now identify the best way forward for your current goal and take it.
If that does not make you feel better, then does hearing that other people wasted even more time make you feel any better? A lot of people wasted a lot of their life.
I wasted 10 years of my life for a mildly different reason. I am curious as to how that makes you feel to hear.
if that does not make you feel better. Can we say that the you in the past must have had his/her reason illegible as it may be? I mean past you decided to stick it out so surely that revealed his/her preference for continuing? Can we say that unless you have stayed you would not have known it was a mistake, and you would be complaining about that branch of the multiverse too?
if that does not make you feel better. Does the fact that your post got upvote and replied to, implying that we listened and validated your feeling make you feel better?
Yes, you’re quite right, I’m obviously falling prey to the sunk cost fallacy here, and I wasn’t fully aware of that, for some reason. But I guess that, being a smart student at a good famous-ish uni and from a moderately well-off family, I feel more or less entitled to a good, well-paying job? And my worry now is that I may not get it, of course. And the shame would be something like “I could have had the life I want but I didn’t bother, and that was kind of a shameful thing to do, I should have acted more according to my own values”. The way I feel it, it’s a mix of disappointment at how unlike myself my behaviour was, and fear that I may not be able to make up for the opportunities I’ve lost and the worsening of my situation I’ve caused. That’s why it feels more like shame, on the whole. But yeah, it probably makes more sense to phrase basically the same feeling as sunk cost fallacy.
I am confused, why shame? I see nothing here to be ashamed of.
can we treat this as sunk cost fallacy? The past doesn’t matter except for when it shapes the current situation. Now identify the best way forward for your current goal and take it.
If that does not make you feel better, then does hearing that other people wasted even more time make you feel any better? A lot of people wasted a lot of their life.
I wasted 10 years of my life for a mildly different reason. I am curious as to how that makes you feel to hear.
if that does not make you feel better. Can we say that the you in the past must have had his/her reason illegible as it may be? I mean past you decided to stick it out so surely that revealed his/her preference for continuing? Can we say that unless you have stayed you would not have known it was a mistake, and you would be complaining about that branch of the multiverse too?
if that does not make you feel better. Does the fact that your post got upvote and replied to, implying that we listened and validated your feeling make you feel better?
Yes, you’re quite right, I’m obviously falling prey to the sunk cost fallacy here, and I wasn’t fully aware of that, for some reason. But I guess that, being a smart student at a good famous-ish uni and from a moderately well-off family, I feel more or less entitled to a good, well-paying job? And my worry now is that I may not get it, of course. And the shame would be something like “I could have had the life I want but I didn’t bother, and that was kind of a shameful thing to do, I should have acted more according to my own values”. The way I feel it, it’s a mix of disappointment at how unlike myself my behaviour was, and fear that I may not be able to make up for the opportunities I’ve lost and the worsening of my situation I’ve caused. That’s why it feels more like shame, on the whole. But yeah, it probably makes more sense to phrase basically the same feeling as sunk cost fallacy.