I’m breaking this into a separate thread since I think it’s a separate topic.
Second, specifically regarding Crocker’s rules, I’m not their fan at all. I think that you can be honest and tactful at the same time, and it’s reasonable to expect the same from other people.
So I disagree. Obviously you can’t impose Croker’s rules on others, but I find it much easier and far less mentally taxing to communicate with people I don’t expect to get offended. Likewise, I’ve gained a great deal of benefit from people very straightforwardly and bluntly calling me out when I’m dropping the ball, and I don’t think they would have bothered otherwise since there was no obvious way to be tactful about it. I also think that there are individuals out there that are both smart and easily offended, and with those individuals tact isn’t really an option as they can transparently see what you’re trying to say, and will take issue with it anyways.
I can see the value of “getting offended” when everyone is sorta operating on simulacra level 3 and factual statements are actually group policy bids. However, when it comes to forming accurate beliefs, “getting offended” strikes me as counter productive, and I do my best to operate in a mode where I don’t do it, which is basically Croker’s rules.
This might be another difference of personalities, maybe Crocker’s rules make sense for some people.
The problem is, different people have conflicting interests. If we all had the same utility function then, sure, communication would be only about conveying factual information. But we don’t. In order to cooperate, we need not only to share information, but also reassure each other we are trustworthy and not planning to defect. If someone criticizes me in a way that disregards tact, it leads me to suspect that eir agenda is not helping me but undermining my status in the group.
You can say, we shouldn’t do that, that’s “simulacra” and simulacra=bad. But the game theory is real, and you can’t just magic it away by wishing it would be different. You can try just taking on faith that everyone are your allies, but then you’ll get exploited by defectors. Or you can try to come up with a different set of norms that solves the problem. But that can’t be Crocker’s rules, at least it can’t be only Crocker’s rules.
Now, obviously you can go too far in the other direction and stop conveying meaningful criticism, or start dancing around facts that need to be faced. That’s also bad. But the optimum is in the middle, at least for most people.
So first of all, I think the dynamics of surrounding offense are tripartite. You have the the party who said something offensive, the party who gets offended, and the party who judges the others involved based on the remark. Furthermore, the reason why simulacra=bad in general is because the underlying truth is irrelevant. Without extra social machinery, there’s no way to distinguish between valid criticism and slander. Offense and slander are both symmetric weapons.
This might be another difference of personalities...you can try to come up with a different set of norms that solves the problem. But that can’t be Crocker’s rules, at least it can’t be only Crocker’s rules.
I think that’s a big part of it. Especially IRL, I’ve taken quite a few steps over the course of years to mitigate the trust issues you bring up in the first place, and I rely on social circles with norms that mitigate the downsides of Crocker’s rules. A good combination of integrity+documentation+choice of allies makes it difficult to criticize someone legitimately. To an extent, I try to make my actions align with the values of the people I associate myself with, I keep good records of what I do, and I check that the people I need either put effort into forming accurate beliefs or won’t judge me regardless of how they see me. Then when criticism is levelled against myself and or my group, I can usually challenge it by encouraging relevant third parties to look more closely at the underlying reality, usually by directly arguing against what was stated. That way I can ward off a lot of criticism without compromising as much on truth seeking, provided there isn’t a sea change in the values of my peers. This has the added benefit that it allows me and my peers to hold each other accountable to take actions that promote each others values.
The other thing I’m doing that is both far easier to pull off and way more effective, is just to be anonymous. When the judging party can’t retaliate because they don’t know you IRL and the people calling the shots on the site respect privacy and have very permissive posting norms, who cares what people say about you? You can take and dish out all the criticism you want and the only consequence is that you’ll need to sort through the crap to find the constructive/actionable/accurate stuff. (Although crap criticism can easily be a serious problem in and of itself.)
I’m breaking this into a separate thread since I think it’s a separate topic.
So I disagree. Obviously you can’t impose Croker’s rules on others, but I find it much easier and far less mentally taxing to communicate with people I don’t expect to get offended. Likewise, I’ve gained a great deal of benefit from people very straightforwardly and bluntly calling me out when I’m dropping the ball, and I don’t think they would have bothered otherwise since there was no obvious way to be tactful about it. I also think that there are individuals out there that are both smart and easily offended, and with those individuals tact isn’t really an option as they can transparently see what you’re trying to say, and will take issue with it anyways.
I can see the value of “getting offended” when everyone is sorta operating on simulacra level 3 and factual statements are actually group policy bids. However, when it comes to forming accurate beliefs, “getting offended” strikes me as counter productive, and I do my best to operate in a mode where I don’t do it, which is basically Croker’s rules.
This might be another difference of personalities, maybe Crocker’s rules make sense for some people.
The problem is, different people have conflicting interests. If we all had the same utility function then, sure, communication would be only about conveying factual information. But we don’t. In order to cooperate, we need not only to share information, but also reassure each other we are trustworthy and not planning to defect. If someone criticizes me in a way that disregards tact, it leads me to suspect that eir agenda is not helping me but undermining my status in the group.
You can say, we shouldn’t do that, that’s “simulacra” and simulacra=bad. But the game theory is real, and you can’t just magic it away by wishing it would be different. You can try just taking on faith that everyone are your allies, but then you’ll get exploited by defectors. Or you can try to come up with a different set of norms that solves the problem. But that can’t be Crocker’s rules, at least it can’t be only Crocker’s rules.
Now, obviously you can go too far in the other direction and stop conveying meaningful criticism, or start dancing around facts that need to be faced. That’s also bad. But the optimum is in the middle, at least for most people.
So first of all, I think the dynamics of surrounding offense are tripartite. You have the the party who said something offensive, the party who gets offended, and the party who judges the others involved based on the remark. Furthermore, the reason why simulacra=bad in general is because the underlying truth is irrelevant. Without extra social machinery, there’s no way to distinguish between valid criticism and slander. Offense and slander are both symmetric weapons.
I think that’s a big part of it. Especially IRL, I’ve taken quite a few steps over the course of years to mitigate the trust issues you bring up in the first place, and I rely on social circles with norms that mitigate the downsides of Crocker’s rules. A good combination of integrity+documentation+choice of allies makes it difficult to criticize someone legitimately. To an extent, I try to make my actions align with the values of the people I associate myself with, I keep good records of what I do, and I check that the people I need either put effort into forming accurate beliefs or won’t judge me regardless of how they see me. Then when criticism is levelled against myself and or my group, I can usually challenge it by encouraging relevant third parties to look more closely at the underlying reality, usually by directly arguing against what was stated. That way I can ward off a lot of criticism without compromising as much on truth seeking, provided there isn’t a sea change in the values of my peers. This has the added benefit that it allows me and my peers to hold each other accountable to take actions that promote each others values.
The other thing I’m doing that is both far easier to pull off and way more effective, is just to be anonymous. When the judging party can’t retaliate because they don’t know you IRL and the people calling the shots on the site respect privacy and have very permissive posting norms, who cares what people say about you? You can take and dish out all the criticism you want and the only consequence is that you’ll need to sort through the crap to find the constructive/actionable/accurate stuff. (Although crap criticism can easily be a serious problem in and of itself.)