While Aella’s post is very vivid in describing the horror of abuse, I don’t necessarily see it in your post. You don’t seem to be in a vulnerable/dependent position with respect to Carla and Dave, they don’t humiliate you, don’t make you doubt your own experience, don’t seem to discard your feelings, and so on.
That’s why if you said to me “I reserve the right to do X, if I find that you are manipulating me”, I wouldn’t be sure what you mean. (Even on the objective, God’s eye, level, let’s forget the question of how we make sure that it has indeed happened for a second).
I wonder if the qualifier (if you are X) is even needed. Whether the dilemma is created by someone manipulating things or just conflicting values (e.g., confidentiality/one’s word and discovered wrong correctable by disclosure) who wants to be on the horns.
Why not simply take the stance that I will always reserve judgment on what confidences I will protect and when you telling me something means you are deferring to my judgement, not binding me to your position?
While Aella’s post is very vivid in describing the horror of abuse, I don’t necessarily see it in your post. You don’t seem to be in a vulnerable/dependent position with respect to Carla and Dave, they don’t humiliate you, don’t make you doubt your own experience, don’t seem to discard your feelings, and so on.
That’s why if you said to me “I reserve the right to do X, if I find that you are manipulating me”, I wouldn’t be sure what you mean. (Even on the objective, God’s eye, level, let’s forget the question of how we make sure that it has indeed happened for a second).
I wonder if the qualifier (if you are X) is even needed. Whether the dilemma is created by someone manipulating things or just conflicting values (e.g., confidentiality/one’s word and discovered wrong correctable by disclosure) who wants to be on the horns.
Why not simply take the stance that I will always reserve judgment on what confidences I will protect and when you telling me something means you are deferring to my judgement, not binding me to your position?