...sometimes people will ask me “can you get this done by [time]?” and I’ll say something like “seems reasonable” but as the discussion carries on, it becomes clear that they want me to basically *promise* that I’ll get the task done by then.
I think you’re right in this diagnosis, but I don’t think that this is strange or unreasonable. In complex organizations, people do often need to know with reasonable certainty that someone else’s task will be done by a certain time. So in many work cultures the counterparty is actually asking “can you promise to work as hard as it takes to get it done by X time”, not asking for a calibrated estimate for how long it would take when you’re working an average 40 hour week.
This is common but note that when this interacts with the other problem, of everyone operating on unrealistic time estimates, it becomes very unreasonable: you may be paid to work 40 hours a week but then expected by your peers and managers to give commitments that amount to “I will work 90-hour weeks to get this done”.
I think you’re right in this diagnosis, but I don’t think that this is strange or unreasonable. In complex organizations, people do often need to know with reasonable certainty that someone else’s task will be done by a certain time. So in many work cultures the counterparty is actually asking “can you promise to work as hard as it takes to get it done by X time”, not asking for a calibrated estimate for how long it would take when you’re working an average 40 hour week.
This is common but note that when this interacts with the other problem, of everyone operating on unrealistic time estimates, it becomes very unreasonable: you may be paid to work 40 hours a week but then expected by your peers and managers to give commitments that amount to “I will work 90-hour weeks to get this done”.