You write as if women were some unspeakably fearful, brittle, and paranoid creatures who undergo apoplectic shocks at the slightest whisper that interferes with their delicate sensibilities. Frankly, if I were a woman, I would take offense at that. You’re basically proclaiming women congenitally incapable of rationally addressing claims they find unpleasant, instinctively reacting with a shock-and-offense emotional ploy instead.
I think people generally dislike and avoid spending time in environments they perceive as anywhere on the scale from unwelcoming to hostile. That’s not a trait that makes someone fearful, brittle, paranoid, or delicate, and I’m confused as to why you’d think I was implying any such thing—quite the opposite.
I think people generally dislike and avoid spending time in environments they perceive as anywhere on the scale from unwelcoming to hostile. That’s not a trait that makes someone fearful, brittle, paranoid, or delicate, and I’m confused as to why you’d think I was implying any such thing—quite the opposite.
The question is whether the usual standards of discourse practiced here are harsh and insensitive enough to qualify as “unwelcoming to hostile.” It seems quite clear to me that only extraordinarily fearful, brittle, or paranoid personalities could honestly answer yes to this. (Here I mean “honestly” as opposed to the already mentioned discourse-destroying tactic where one actively seeks flimsy pretexts for sanctimonious indignation instead of engaging the substance of the argument.)
Again, this is not meant as an attack on everyone who has ever expressed indignation about some particular statement posted here, and in the present context, I don’t want to express judgments about any such individual incident, whether in this thread or any other. Even among very smart and cultured people, occasional episodes of careless and stupid behavior are unavoidable, and in any discussion forum, people will sometimes be faced with valid reasons to feel angry and offended. However, the idea that the general standards of discussion here represent a threatening and hostile environment for women, which is supposedly the main reason why they’re few in number, seems to me completely disconnected from reality.
However, the idea that the general standards of discussion here represent a threatening and hostile environment for women, which is supposedly the main reason why they’re few in number, seems to me completely disconnected from reality.
Not the general standards of discussion, no. But the standards of discussion for some of the speculation on sex relations, especially when related to the PUA subculture, seem to create an unpleasant environment for women who are otherwise quite happy with the general standards of discussion. Therefore, it seems reasonable to hypothesize that without that specific subset of the discussion, the site as a whole would be more attractive to women.
The question is whether the usual standards of discourse practiced here are harsh and insensitive enough to qualify as “unwelcoming to hostile.” It seems quite clear to me that only extraordinarily fearful, brittle, or paranoid personalities could honestly answer yes to this.
It’s fairly hyperbolic to say that only an “extraordinarily fearful, brittle, or paranoid person” could answer yes to the question of whether this site is an unwelcoming to hostile environment at times. Forget hostile, you can’t see why the label “unwelcoming” could be used by a reasonable—or at least not extraordinarily fearful, brittle, and paranoid—person to describe some subsets of discussion here?
But the standards of discussion for some of the speculation on sex relations, especially when related to the PUA subculture, seem to create an unpleasant environment for women who are otherwise quite happy with the general standards of discussion. Therefore, it seems reasonable to hypothesize that without that specific subset of the discussion, the site as a whole would be more attractive to women.
There are two ways in which I could interpret this comment.
If you’re saying that some topics are inherently insensitive and unpleasant, in that a rational no-holds-barred inquiry into them will likely yield disturbing conclusions that are apt to inflame passions and hurt people’s feelings, and they should therefore be avoided because they poison the atmosphere on the entire forum due to the unavoidable human passions and weaknesses, I will agree with the former and disagree with the latter. (And I’ll grant that it’s overall a reasonable and defensible position.)
However, if you’re saying that the way these topics have been discussed here should, on the whole, be considered excessively insensitive, and that an ideally rational, objective, and open-minded discussion of these matters would produce arguments and conclusions that are more warm, fuzzy, and politically correct, then I disagree radically. Aside from a few rare outliers, the discussions here have, if anything, erred on the side of being too cautious, sensitive, and silent about ugly truths.
It’s fairly hyperbolic to say that only an “extraordinarily fearful, brittle, or paranoid person” could answer yes to the question of whether this site is an unwelcoming to hostile environment at times. Forget hostile, you can’t see why the label “unwelcoming” could be used by a reasonable—or at least not extraordinarily fearful, brittle, and paranoid—person to describe some subsets of discussion here?
Well, just observe all the innumerable places, both online and offline, in which the standards of discourse are far more insensitive than anything that ever happens here, and which still attract far more female participants than this website—and not some particularly tough-skinned ones either. Just from the usual human standards, I think it’s fair to conclude that people who find enough unwelcoming elements here to be driven away are ipso facto showing that they are unusually sensitive specimens of humanity.
Therefore, it seems reasonable to hypothesize that without that specific subset of the discussion, the site as a whole would be more attractive to women.
I think you may be right. Let’s make a new site where we can have these discussions without making lesswrong unattractive to women!
I think people generally dislike and avoid spending time in environments they perceive as anywhere on the scale from unwelcoming to hostile. That’s not a trait that makes someone fearful, brittle, paranoid, or delicate, and I’m confused as to why you’d think I was implying any such thing—quite the opposite.
lmnop:
The question is whether the usual standards of discourse practiced here are harsh and insensitive enough to qualify as “unwelcoming to hostile.” It seems quite clear to me that only extraordinarily fearful, brittle, or paranoid personalities could honestly answer yes to this. (Here I mean “honestly” as opposed to the already mentioned discourse-destroying tactic where one actively seeks flimsy pretexts for sanctimonious indignation instead of engaging the substance of the argument.)
Again, this is not meant as an attack on everyone who has ever expressed indignation about some particular statement posted here, and in the present context, I don’t want to express judgments about any such individual incident, whether in this thread or any other. Even among very smart and cultured people, occasional episodes of careless and stupid behavior are unavoidable, and in any discussion forum, people will sometimes be faced with valid reasons to feel angry and offended. However, the idea that the general standards of discussion here represent a threatening and hostile environment for women, which is supposedly the main reason why they’re few in number, seems to me completely disconnected from reality.
Not the general standards of discussion, no. But the standards of discussion for some of the speculation on sex relations, especially when related to the PUA subculture, seem to create an unpleasant environment for women who are otherwise quite happy with the general standards of discussion. Therefore, it seems reasonable to hypothesize that without that specific subset of the discussion, the site as a whole would be more attractive to women.
It’s fairly hyperbolic to say that only an “extraordinarily fearful, brittle, or paranoid person” could answer yes to the question of whether this site is an unwelcoming to hostile environment at times. Forget hostile, you can’t see why the label “unwelcoming” could be used by a reasonable—or at least not extraordinarily fearful, brittle, and paranoid—person to describe some subsets of discussion here?
lmnop:
There are two ways in which I could interpret this comment.
If you’re saying that some topics are inherently insensitive and unpleasant, in that a rational no-holds-barred inquiry into them will likely yield disturbing conclusions that are apt to inflame passions and hurt people’s feelings, and they should therefore be avoided because they poison the atmosphere on the entire forum due to the unavoidable human passions and weaknesses, I will agree with the former and disagree with the latter. (And I’ll grant that it’s overall a reasonable and defensible position.)
However, if you’re saying that the way these topics have been discussed here should, on the whole, be considered excessively insensitive, and that an ideally rational, objective, and open-minded discussion of these matters would produce arguments and conclusions that are more warm, fuzzy, and politically correct, then I disagree radically. Aside from a few rare outliers, the discussions here have, if anything, erred on the side of being too cautious, sensitive, and silent about ugly truths.
Well, just observe all the innumerable places, both online and offline, in which the standards of discourse are far more insensitive than anything that ever happens here, and which still attract far more female participants than this website—and not some particularly tough-skinned ones either. Just from the usual human standards, I think it’s fair to conclude that people who find enough unwelcoming elements here to be driven away are ipso facto showing that they are unusually sensitive specimens of humanity.
I think you may be right. Let’s make a new site where we can have these discussions without making lesswrong unattractive to women!