I don’t have confidence that it was just [Munchkin] who was the problem, among kids. At past events that has been true, but there were more kids of an age with them this time, and so I specifically avoided rushing to that judgment. (Not that it kept me from getting yelled at on Facebook.)
I do think that the overall argument about kids at events has, up to this point, been a disguised referendum on [Munchkin] specifically, basically every time. Mentioning this did and honestly still does feel unspeakably rude because there’s basically no way to have that discussion without it being a direct social attack on something intensely personal for them and their parental figures.
[EDIT NOTE: This previously contained a particular kid’s name. Benquo pointed out that they have not and probably can’t yet consent to that, so I have replaced the real name with [Munchkin]. I will privately share the kid’s name on request, if it isn’t clear from context.]
I think this is actually a hard-to-avoid adverse consequence of the thing being handled like a (shoestring) theatrical production rather than a community event.
If the community had some sort of coordination mechanism for making Solstice happen that included some sort of venue for sharing info, then there would be a natural private venue to bring up how a thing affected you, find out to what extent there were contravening interests that made it difficult to accommodate yours, and search for a solution. But if the one, independent, overworked event producer wants to do things in a way that doesn’t meet your needs, you don’t really have recourse aside from escalating to a venue like this one. This seems like a corollary to Raemon’s post about melting gold.
Mentioning this did and honestly still does feel unspeakably rude because there’s basically no way to have that discussion without it being a direct social attack on something intensely personal for her and her parental figures.
Right, that’s why I wanted to not just say “kids bothered me”; no point in hiding it in subtext when it’s just as awkward. I edited out name, though.
I don’t have confidence that it was just [Munchkin] who was the problem, among kids. At past events that has been true, but there were more kids of an age with them this time, and so I specifically avoided rushing to that judgment. (Not that it kept me from getting yelled at on Facebook.)
I do think that the overall argument about kids at events has, up to this point, been a disguised referendum on [Munchkin] specifically, basically every time. Mentioning this did and honestly still does feel unspeakably rude because there’s basically no way to have that discussion without it being a direct social attack on something intensely personal for them and their parental figures.
[EDIT NOTE: This previously contained a particular kid’s name. Benquo pointed out that they have not and probably can’t yet consent to that, so I have replaced the real name with [Munchkin]. I will privately share the kid’s name on request, if it isn’t clear from context.]
I think this is actually a hard-to-avoid adverse consequence of the thing being handled like a (shoestring) theatrical production rather than a community event.
If the community had some sort of coordination mechanism for making Solstice happen that included some sort of venue for sharing info, then there would be a natural private venue to bring up how a thing affected you, find out to what extent there were contravening interests that made it difficult to accommodate yours, and search for a solution. But if the one, independent, overworked event producer wants to do things in a way that doesn’t meet your needs, you don’t really have recourse aside from escalating to a venue like this one. This seems like a corollary to Raemon’s post about melting gold.
Right, that’s why I wanted to not just say “kids bothered me”; no point in hiding it in subtext when it’s just as awkward. I edited out name, though.