Besides porking (really) hot babes, flipping out, wailing on guitars, and cutting off heads, a ninja has to train. They have to meditate ALL THE TIME. But most importantly, each morning a ninja should think about going a little crazier than the day before. Beyond thinking about going berserk, a ninja must, by definition, actually go berserk.
Robert Hamburger, REAL Ultimate Power, The Official Ninja Book
Therefore, o mighty Ninjas, who grant awesomeness to fans, grant me that, in so far as you know it beneficial, I understand that you are as we believe and you are that which we believe. Now we believe that you are something crazier than which nothing crazier can be imagined.
For if there were something crazier than a ninja, that ninja would every day grow in craziness and then that something would not be so; even a fool would agree to this. This is the greater ninja law—for every badass, there must be some even crazily more badass badass. But it would be crazier for the Ultimate Ninja to exist than to not exist, because that would be so totally sweet when he flipped out and cut the universe’s head off. Thus, we must bow to the greater ninja law & high-five the Ultimate Ninja, less he shuriken us with galaxies. Truly, Ultimate Ninja, you are so crazy that you cannot even be thought to not exist!
Robert Hamburger, REAL Ultimate Power, The Official Ninja Book