All of the nouns named on the scroll appear. Some of them are things that the wording of the scroll expressly insists that the wish must avoid, due to their being lethal or otherwise undesirable.
In the likely event that it’s impossible for you to read the scroll perfectly, it’s true for all X that “X would happen if you read this scroll perfectly”. Which means that anything the genie feels like doing satisfies that wish. Or possibly the genie has to make everything happen that could possibly happen. Neither of those seems like a good outcome.
Hm… how about “I wish to have all the skills and abilities required to formulate an unambiguous wish in standard English that would allow me to fulfill any of my non-contradictory desires that I choose, and to be able to choose which of any desires that are contradictory said wish would fulfill, and to be able to express that unambiguous wish in an unambiguous way in less than thirty seconds and with no consequences to incorrectly expressing that wish apart from the necessity of trying again to express it.”
“I wish for everything written on this scroll.” Or some variation thereof that more exactly expresses that general idea.
All of the nouns named on the scroll appear. Some of them are things that the wording of the scroll expressly insists that the wish must avoid, due to their being lethal or otherwise undesirable.
“I wish for everything that would happen if I read this scroll perfectly.”
Among other things, you would suffocate due to that four-minute no-breathing-allowed Martian word in paragraph nine.
Ooooh. Well played.
4 minutes is survivable if trained.
Fine, thirty.
Not while speaking.
In the likely event that it’s impossible for you to read the scroll perfectly, it’s true for all X that “X would happen if you read this scroll perfectly”. Which means that anything the genie feels like doing satisfies that wish. Or possibly the genie has to make everything happen that could possibly happen. Neither of those seems like a good outcome.
Hm… how about “I wish to have all the skills and abilities required to formulate an unambiguous wish in standard English that would allow me to fulfill any of my non-contradictory desires that I choose, and to be able to choose which of any desires that are contradictory said wish would fulfill, and to be able to express that unambiguous wish in an unambiguous way in less than thirty seconds and with no consequences to incorrectly expressing that wish apart from the necessity of trying again to express it.”