The other kind of lighter, with the stick and handle
Flint and a knife
Those lighters we used on the bunsen burners in high school chem class. Man, there’s a lot of different kinds of lighters.
Google for unusual lighters, buy one, and use that.
Bunsen burner
Electric sparker from a grill/stove
Grill/stove
Another already-lit candle
Another already-lit fire
Blowtorch
Molotov cocktail
Rube goldberg machine
Battery and some steel filings
Sparkler
Fireworks
Model rocket igniter
Rocket igniter
Rocket exhaust
Heat from orbital re-entry
Throw it into Mount Doom
Find those people who claim to be the spark that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down, and ask them for a light before their tactical and strategic incompetence gets them all killed.
Welder
Plasma torch
Lens, a sunny day and a steady hand
Galaxy Note 7
Two paperclips and an electrical outlet
Pure sodium and a few drops of water
Kite, wire and thunderstorm
Leave the candle nearby some bored Boy Scouts.
Hand grenade
Ship the candle to California
Parabolic reflector and some sun
Dragon breath
Car battery, a wrench, and something besides my hand with which to hold the wrench
Steel cable, hook, and a high-voltage power line
Flamethrower
Propane tank and a rifle
Lit propane lantern
Use a space heater in a way which will definitely void the warranty
Leave the candle on a table in somebody else’ house, then kill their power
Feed candle to a goat, let the mitochondria burn it
Piss off an arsonist, leave the candle at home and go on vacation
Throw candle in a bonfire
Leave the candle in a church and wait for them to light it
Leave candle in oven on self-clean cycle
Toast candle in toaster
Autoclave
Campfire
Poke candle into glassblowing furnace
Poke candle into vat of molten steel
Leave candle in kiln
Find an oilwell with a not-very-thrifty operator and light the candle from the gas they’re burning off
Visit an Amish kitchen, use the first flame available
Break an old-school lightbulb, touch candle wick to it while it’s still hot.
9-volt battery and a fork
Drive around California inspecting the power lines and transformers and whatnot until sparks are found, then light the candle from the sparks
Go to a (coal/oil/gas) power plant, and throw the candle into the fuel pile
Hide the candle inside of a missile which will soon be used for wargames or something
Hide the candle in a nuclear test site in North Korea
Hide the candle in some other bomb test site
Tie the candle to a weight, and let enough string hang off to drag it back after throwing, then throw it into a minefield. If nothing goes boom, drag it back. If it still hasn’t gone boom, throw again at a different spot. Iterate until boom.
Throw the candle into an active jet engine
Shine a flashlight at the candle. Now the candle is lit.
Arrange a romantic candle-lit dinner with significant other, then pretend to not have any candle-lighting tools available and see how they light it.
Light it with a cigarette
Light it from the flaming pitchfork outside the Hell’s Kitchen restaurant at Caesar’s Palace
Throw it out the window of an airplane while flying through a thunderstorm
Assault a castle, and hope defenders drop burning pitch with which to light the candle
Defend the castle, and hope the attackers shoot flaming arrows with which to light the candle
Join the volunteer fire department, and light it from whatever’s on fire on the first call
Leave ambiguous political remarks on twitter/facebook, and light the candle from the resulting dumpster fire
Blasting cap
Drop the candle down the hole at a blasting site
Put a little bit of foil around the wick, then put the candle in the microwave and turn it on
Put a little bit of foil around the wick, then shoot the candle at high speed next to a strong magnet
High intensity laser
Place the candle in a large tank of air, then rapidly compress it enough that the heat lights the candle
Coat the wick with a solid oxidizer, then place the whole thing in a vacuum chamber and shoot it with an electron gun
Coat the wick with a solid oxidizer, then throw it into a deep-sea vent
Obtain a black hole, then use it as a gravitational lense to focus sunlight on the candle.
Coat the wick in a glow-in-the-dark chemical rather than burning it
Place the candle in a pile of hay in the back of an 18-wheeler, with a space heater at the other end of the truck bed (opposite the hay pile). Then have an amateur driver race the truck around a track.
Leave the candle in an open field and wait for a meteor to strike.
Leave the candle in an open field and wait for the second law of thermodynamics to somehow, someway take its course.
Place the candle in a room with a 100% oxygen atmosphere, and don’t try very hard to prevent fire.
Light it from the olympic torch
Attempt to make homemade explosives with the candle nearby.
Legal text: results not guaranteed. May result in destruction of candle, severe burns, loss of limbs, spontaneous appearance of Boy Scouts, property damage, and/or loss of life. Do not attempt without supervision by a properly licensed candle lighter. No pistachio nuts were harmed in the compilation of this list.
Match
Lighter
The other kind of lighter, with the stick and handle
Flint and a knife
Those lighters we used on the bunsen burners in high school chem class. Man, there’s a lot of different kinds of lighters.
Google for unusual lighters, buy one, and use that.
Bunsen burner
Electric sparker from a grill/stove
Grill/stove
Another already-lit candle
Another already-lit fire
Blowtorch
Molotov cocktail
Rube goldberg machine
Battery and some steel filings
Sparkler
Fireworks
Model rocket igniter
Rocket igniter
Rocket exhaust
Heat from orbital re-entry
Throw it into Mount Doom
Find those people who claim to be the spark that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down, and ask them for a light before their tactical and strategic incompetence gets them all killed.
Welder
Plasma torch
Lens, a sunny day and a steady hand
Galaxy Note 7
Two paperclips and an electrical outlet
Pure sodium and a few drops of water
Kite, wire and thunderstorm
Leave the candle nearby some bored Boy Scouts.
Hand grenade
Ship the candle to California
Parabolic reflector and some sun
Dragon breath
Car battery, a wrench, and something besides my hand with which to hold the wrench
Steel cable, hook, and a high-voltage power line
Flamethrower
Propane tank and a rifle
Lit propane lantern
Use a space heater in a way which will definitely void the warranty
Leave the candle on a table in somebody else’ house, then kill their power
Feed candle to a goat, let the mitochondria burn it
Piss off an arsonist, leave the candle at home and go on vacation
Throw candle in a bonfire
Leave the candle in a church and wait for them to light it
Leave candle in oven on self-clean cycle
Toast candle in toaster
Autoclave
Campfire
Poke candle into glassblowing furnace
Poke candle into vat of molten steel
Leave candle in kiln
Find an oilwell with a not-very-thrifty operator and light the candle from the gas they’re burning off
Pilot light
Bring candle to the Darvaza gas crater
Bring candle to an eternal flame monument
Torch
Light it from a refinery gas flare
Throw it into the sun
Visit an Amish kitchen, use the first flame available
Break an old-school lightbulb, touch candle wick to it while it’s still hot.
9-volt battery and a fork
Drive around California inspecting the power lines and transformers and whatnot until sparks are found, then light the candle from the sparks
Go to a (coal/oil/gas) power plant, and throw the candle into the fuel pile
Hide the candle inside of a missile which will soon be used for wargames or something
Hide the candle in a nuclear test site in North Korea
Hide the candle in some other bomb test site
Tie the candle to a weight, and let enough string hang off to drag it back after throwing, then throw it into a minefield. If nothing goes boom, drag it back. If it still hasn’t gone boom, throw again at a different spot. Iterate until boom.
Throw the candle into an active jet engine
Shine a flashlight at the candle. Now the candle is lit.
Arrange a romantic candle-lit dinner with significant other, then pretend to not have any candle-lighting tools available and see how they light it.
Light it with a cigarette
Light it from the flaming pitchfork outside the Hell’s Kitchen restaurant at Caesar’s Palace
Throw it out the window of an airplane while flying through a thunderstorm
Assault a castle, and hope defenders drop burning pitch with which to light the candle
Defend the castle, and hope the attackers shoot flaming arrows with which to light the candle
Join the volunteer fire department, and light it from whatever’s on fire on the first call
Leave ambiguous political remarks on twitter/facebook, and light the candle from the resulting dumpster fire
Blasting cap
Drop the candle down the hole at a blasting site
Put a little bit of foil around the wick, then put the candle in the microwave and turn it on
Put a little bit of foil around the wick, then shoot the candle at high speed next to a strong magnet
High intensity laser
Place the candle in a large tank of air, then rapidly compress it enough that the heat lights the candle
Coat the wick with a solid oxidizer, then place the whole thing in a vacuum chamber and shoot it with an electron gun
Coat the wick with a solid oxidizer, then throw it into a deep-sea vent
Obtain a black hole, then use it as a gravitational lense to focus sunlight on the candle.
Coat the wick in a glow-in-the-dark chemical rather than burning it
Leave the candle in a very large compost pile
Leave the candle in a box with some rags soaked in linseed oil
Leave the candle in a loose pile of pyrite and coal on a hot day
Leave the candle in a pile of pistachio nuts
Leave the candle in a pile of nitrate film
Place the candle in a pile of hay in the back of an 18-wheeler, with a space heater at the other end of the truck bed (opposite the hay pile). Then have an amateur driver race the truck around a track.
Leave the candle in an open field and wait for a meteor to strike.
Leave the candle in an open field and wait for the second law of thermodynamics to somehow, someway take its course.
Place the candle in a room with a 100% oxygen atmosphere, and don’t try very hard to prevent fire.
Light it from the olympic torch
Attempt to make homemade explosives with the candle nearby.
Legal text: results not guaranteed. May result in destruction of candle, severe burns, loss of limbs, spontaneous appearance of Boy Scouts, property damage, and/or loss of life. Do not attempt without supervision by a properly licensed candle lighter. No pistachio nuts were harmed in the compilation of this list.
Amazing. I liked #77, #87, #88 and many more
I did a text-search and found your #56. Good to see some culture in here!