First comment ever on this site, it’s good to be here.
I think asking should be a last resort in the sympathy vs Solution dance.
If I know the person well, I can usually tell which they want, based on how fast they talk.
If I’m in doubt, something like “Have you tried / thought about [Cool Solution]?” will tell me what I need to know.
Either the other person picks up on it and runs with it toward solving the problem, or they run deeper into emotion.
First comment ever on this site, it’s good to be here.
I think asking should be a last resort in the sympathy vs Solution dance.
If I know the person well, I can usually tell which they want, based on how fast they talk.
If I’m in doubt, something like “Have you tried / thought about [Cool Solution]?” will tell me what I need to know.
Either the other person picks up on it and runs with it toward solving the problem, or they run deeper into emotion.