Another aspect of Love that’s not really addressed here I tend to think of as a sense of ‘being on the same team.’ When I relate to people I love, I might help them or do something nice for them for the same reasons that Draymond Green passes the ball to Steph Curry—because when Steph makes a 3, the team’s score increases and that’s what they are trying to do. Draymond doesn’t (or at least shouldn’t) hold onto the ball and try to score himself unless he has a better shot (he usually doesn’t) - points are points.
Whereas when interacting with someone I don’t love, I might help them to the extent it advances my own goals, broadly defined (which includes things like ‘being well liked’, ‘getting helped in the future’, ‘the feeling of doing a good deed’).
I suppose it’s related, but I think maybe I was thrown off by the parenthetical. I perceive it as fundamentally different from altruism. This form of ‘love as being on the same team’ is also about enjoying your loved ones’ successes, seeing them learn and grow and triumph, even if you don’t particularly give or protect anything in particular. Because when we’re on the same team, their win is my win.
Another aspect of Love that’s not really addressed here I tend to think of as a sense of ‘being on the same team.’ When I relate to people I love, I might help them or do something nice for them for the same reasons that Draymond Green passes the ball to Steph Curry—because when Steph makes a 3, the team’s score increases and that’s what they are trying to do. Draymond doesn’t (or at least shouldn’t) hold onto the ball and try to score himself unless he has a better shot (he usually doesn’t) - points are points.
Whereas when interacting with someone I don’t love, I might help them to the extent it advances my own goals, broadly defined (which includes things like ‘being well liked’, ‘getting helped in the future’, ‘the feeling of doing a good deed’).
Is the thing that you are talking about clearly distinct from this thing from my OP?
I suppose it’s related, but I think maybe I was thrown off by the parenthetical. I perceive it as fundamentally different from altruism. This form of ‘love as being on the same team’ is also about enjoying your loved ones’ successes, seeing them learn and grow and triumph, even if you don’t particularly give or protect anything in particular. Because when we’re on the same team, their win is my win.