These are things I have done to deal with these kinds of feelings:
Programs like Medicaid (in states that are expanding it to all low-income and not just disabled low-income people, at least) and food stamps are funded with the number of people who are expected to use the service. When you use low-income services like this, the people running the service can then mark you down and then use “we got more people using the service this year than we did last year” to ask for more funding. This also works for community clinics that get some or most of their money from private donors, who can make the same argument for the same reason.
If you can’t make the phone call, have someone sit next to you and dial the number and then press the phone to your ear. If you’re selectively mute like I am, use text chat and someone else in the same room as a relay service. If you have phone anxiety, offer to book salon and pet care appointments for other people until you burn the phone anxiety out.
Pay someone else gas money ahead of time to drive you to the appointment, and then walk you to the waiting room and sign you in. A firm hand on your elbow works wonders.
Seconding this recommendation for using a workbook to get yourself over the initial hump.
Most therapists will offer free initial phone or email consultations. Note your money problems upfront. If the therapist says that they can provide you help and is offering you a significant sliding scale discount out of their own pocket, it’s rather harder to turn that down. Note that independently practicing therapists are basically sole proprietors and thus it is one person saying that you deserve help, rather than an agency, because you seem to be worried about agencies running out of money (though see #1).
Once you are with the doctor, you can tell them you had trouble making the appointment for these reasons and need help. (If you think you may end up not saying these things aloud, write them down ahead of time and then make sure they get the paper.) Either they will prescribe you a relatively inexpensive medication or they will refer you to a different doctor or therapist. For help getting to that appointment, see #3.
There is a lot of screening and paperwork involved when getting this kind of assistance. It is their job to determine whether you deserve to be helped, not yours. Even people you (probably) think do not deserve help, and/or who are costing far more than you would probably cost to treat in a lifetime, are getting help that you could at least be considered for. Be honest about how much of a problem you have with “deserving” help and they will be honest about what your chances are.
There is a lot of screening and paperwork involved when getting this kind of assistance. It is their job to determine whether you deserve to be helped, not yours. Even people you (probably) think do not deserve help, and/or who are costing far more than you would probably cost to treat in a lifetime, are getting help that you could at least be considered for. Be honest about how much of a problem you have with “deserving” help and they will be honest about what your chances are.
And here’s a big part of the problem: historically, that screening and paperwork process serves to discourage me from continuing, and then sets up a sense of remorse/self-blame later. Also, whenever I’m in the screening process and someone tells me that they’re suspicious of my right to be there, I tend to bow out immediately.
At least some social services agencies have a position called “case manager”, which is a person who is specifically hired to help other people get through the bureaucracy and to services if they cannot get these services themselves (due to lack of resources whether physical or mental). It may be worth your time to inquire as to how you could be assigned one of those, and then you only need to approach one person and ask.
nod the two times I interacted with a case manager, they immediately expressed suspicion that I was malingering / gaming the system. (At which point, it’s worth considering that I may be subconsciously doing so.)
Sadly, a significant fraction of people working in public health are in the late stages of burnout, where they simply don’t have any altruism left to spare and are only working in their jobs because of money/inertia/fear of unemployment/extrinsic rewards. People who are burnt out that profoundly will express suspicion of malingering as, I think, sort of a protective mechanism: “there cannot possibly have been this many people that need this much of my energy, so most of the people dropping by with sob stories are just trying to pull one over on me because I’ve proved myself to be an easy target”. (This is a just-so story that has no citation. Salt as necessary.)
If you’re worried about this, you can also try, for example, therapists-in-training-programs at colleges or universities, which are cheaper (because the people doing the therapy are paying tuition, so you don’t really have to pay much to make it worth everyone’s while) and have younger/fresher people that are much less likely to reject you because of burnout.
These are things I have done to deal with these kinds of feelings:
Programs like Medicaid (in states that are expanding it to all low-income and not just disabled low-income people, at least) and food stamps are funded with the number of people who are expected to use the service. When you use low-income services like this, the people running the service can then mark you down and then use “we got more people using the service this year than we did last year” to ask for more funding. This also works for community clinics that get some or most of their money from private donors, who can make the same argument for the same reason.
If you can’t make the phone call, have someone sit next to you and dial the number and then press the phone to your ear. If you’re selectively mute like I am, use text chat and someone else in the same room as a relay service. If you have phone anxiety, offer to book salon and pet care appointments for other people until you burn the phone anxiety out.
Pay someone else gas money ahead of time to drive you to the appointment, and then walk you to the waiting room and sign you in. A firm hand on your elbow works wonders.
Seconding this recommendation for using a workbook to get yourself over the initial hump.
Most therapists will offer free initial phone or email consultations. Note your money problems upfront. If the therapist says that they can provide you help and is offering you a significant sliding scale discount out of their own pocket, it’s rather harder to turn that down. Note that independently practicing therapists are basically sole proprietors and thus it is one person saying that you deserve help, rather than an agency, because you seem to be worried about agencies running out of money (though see #1).
Once you are with the doctor, you can tell them you had trouble making the appointment for these reasons and need help. (If you think you may end up not saying these things aloud, write them down ahead of time and then make sure they get the paper.) Either they will prescribe you a relatively inexpensive medication or they will refer you to a different doctor or therapist. For help getting to that appointment, see #3.
There is a lot of screening and paperwork involved when getting this kind of assistance. It is their job to determine whether you deserve to be helped, not yours. Even people you (probably) think do not deserve help, and/or who are costing far more than you would probably cost to treat in a lifetime, are getting help that you could at least be considered for. Be honest about how much of a problem you have with “deserving” help and they will be honest about what your chances are.
And here’s a big part of the problem: historically, that screening and paperwork process serves to discourage me from continuing, and then sets up a sense of remorse/self-blame later. Also, whenever I’m in the screening process and someone tells me that they’re suspicious of my right to be there, I tend to bow out immediately.
At least some social services agencies have a position called “case manager”, which is a person who is specifically hired to help other people get through the bureaucracy and to services if they cannot get these services themselves (due to lack of resources whether physical or mental). It may be worth your time to inquire as to how you could be assigned one of those, and then you only need to approach one person and ask.
nod the two times I interacted with a case manager, they immediately expressed suspicion that I was malingering / gaming the system. (At which point, it’s worth considering that I may be subconsciously doing so.)
Sadly, a significant fraction of people working in public health are in the late stages of burnout, where they simply don’t have any altruism left to spare and are only working in their jobs because of money/inertia/fear of unemployment/extrinsic rewards. People who are burnt out that profoundly will express suspicion of malingering as, I think, sort of a protective mechanism: “there cannot possibly have been this many people that need this much of my energy, so most of the people dropping by with sob stories are just trying to pull one over on me because I’ve proved myself to be an easy target”. (This is a just-so story that has no citation. Salt as necessary.)
If you’re worried about this, you can also try, for example, therapists-in-training-programs at colleges or universities, which are cheaper (because the people doing the therapy are paying tuition, so you don’t really have to pay much to make it worth everyone’s while) and have younger/fresher people that are much less likely to reject you because of burnout.