I think the only problem with the article is that it tries to otheroptimize. It seems to address a problem that the author had, as some people do. He seems to overestimate the usefulness of his advices though (he writes for anyone except if “your career is going great, you’re thrilled with your life and you’re happy with your relationships”). As mentioned by NancyLebovitz, the article is not for the clinical depressed, in fact it is only for a small (?) set of people who sits around all day whining, who thinks they deserve better for who they are, without actually trying to improve the situation.
That said, this over generalization is a problem that permeates most self help, and the article is not more guilty than the average.
I think I’ll just quote the entirety of an angry comment on Nancy’s blog. I basically can’t help agreeing with the below. Although I don’t think the article is entirely bad and worthless—there are a few commonplace yet forcefully asserted life instructions there, if that’s your cup of tea—its downsides do outweigh its utility.
What especially pisses me off is how Wong hijacks the ostensibly altruistic intent of it as an excuse to throw a load of aggression and condescending superiority in the intended audience’s face, then offers an explanation of how feeling repulsed/hurt by that tone further confirms the reader’s lower status. This is, like, a textbook example of self-gratification and cruel status play.
6: not all of the world is made up of selfish bastards. Or for some people ‘what they can get from you’ equals ‘hanging out, having a good time doing nothing much’ so maybe it’s right—but not in the materialistic, selfish way the article implies.
5: I don’t quite get what he wants that’s different from his #6 ‘the world expects you to do stuff’. Also, I don’t care how right someone is (he’s not), if you have to be an asshole about it and if you don’t care about hurting people, not only are you doing it wrong, there’s a good chance that your message is manipulative rather than insightful. He’s trying to make you believe that all that counts is how he wants to see the world.
4 is the same message again, in a different form—the world (here ‘women’) expects you to deliver. Don’t be nice, get results. (If your goal is being a well-rounded individual with good mental health, maybe that’s not the best way forward. Just sayin.)
3 has kind of a point if you don’t do anything at all (and if you don’t do anything, you’re probably severely depressed and need far more help than an internet article) - but what people think ‘doing’ means differs wildly. And the first half of the article seems to discard a lot of stuff that ‘people do’ (for instance, caring for family members)- you don’t have tangible results, but by gods, have you put work into it. As you point out, there can be a severe dissonance between what a depressed you thinks you do (nothing) and what a non-depressed you or a friend might think of it. And for some people ‘go and do something productive’ might be good advice, and for others it’s even more pressure—and the kind of person who feels guilty eating more than a salad? Needs help, not to be elevated to a role model.
2 Everything bad you’ve done was because of a bad impulse? Please. Nobody carries black and white around like that, and plenty of things are done out of habit and out of an impulse to do something good (people might think they are helping you not to go to hell by preventing you from being with someone you love) …
1 just seems to be a self-congratulatory bit that says ’if you don’t accept me as a Great Thinker who Knows Better, something is wrong with you.
Conclusion: a truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent. And when you mix in some outright lies...
One of the comments at dreamwidth is by a therapist who said that being extremely vulnerable to shame is a distinct problem—not everyone who’s depressed has it, and not everyone who’s shame-prone is depressed.
Also, I didn’t say clinically depressed. I’m in the mild-to-moderate category, and that sort of talk is bad for me.
I think the only problem with the article is that it tries to otheroptimize. It seems to address a problem that the author had, as some people do. He seems to overestimate the usefulness of his advices though (he writes for anyone except if “your career is going great, you’re thrilled with your life and you’re happy with your relationships”). As mentioned by NancyLebovitz, the article is not for the clinical depressed, in fact it is only for a small (?) set of people who sits around all day whining, who thinks they deserve better for who they are, without actually trying to improve the situation.
That said, this over generalization is a problem that permeates most self help, and the article is not more guilty than the average.
I think I’ll just quote the entirety of an angry comment on Nancy’s blog. I basically can’t help agreeing with the below. Although I don’t think the article is entirely bad and worthless—there are a few commonplace yet forcefully asserted life instructions there, if that’s your cup of tea—its downsides do outweigh its utility.
What especially pisses me off is how Wong hijacks the ostensibly altruistic intent of it as an excuse to throw a load of aggression and condescending superiority in the intended audience’s face, then offers an explanation of how feeling repulsed/hurt by that tone further confirms the reader’s lower status. This is, like, a textbook example of self-gratification and cruel status play.
Conclusion: a truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent. And when you mix in some outright lies...
One of the comments at dreamwidth is by a therapist who said that being extremely vulnerable to shame is a distinct problem—not everyone who’s depressed has it, and not everyone who’s shame-prone is depressed.
Also, I didn’t say clinically depressed. I’m in the mild-to-moderate category, and that sort of talk is bad for me.