Also I’d like to comment that the “Do I look fat in this” question is an example I quite like. It’s a fantastic example of the sort of question that has a stereotypical negative response so strong that many people will just assume, even the first time, that you don’t ever say yes to that question.
And also, I had an ex boyfriend that I got to participate with me in an exercise to help me get over my own fat shame. I asked him outright to call me fat, and to do it with a smile so that I could practice associating “fat” with anything other than ugly and shameful. He agreed, and sometimes we would just call each other fat while cuddling and being flirty, in an attempt to disarm the word’s cultural baggage.
It’s also a pretty terribly phrased question, but it can still be answered honestly and positively. An honest fashionista friend might do well to comment, “Darling, it’s too small and it’s squeezing your hips in a way that looks terribly uncomfortable; try a different cut or a larger size.” Or someone else might reply as most of my exes have done, “I have no idea, I don’t do fashion.” This response is a bit disappointing sometimes because it offers no useful feedback, but has never offended me.
Also I’d like to comment that the “Do I look fat in this” question is an example I quite like. It’s a fantastic example of the sort of question that has a stereotypical negative response so strong that many people will just assume, even the first time, that you don’t ever say yes to that question.
And also, I had an ex boyfriend that I got to participate with me in an exercise to help me get over my own fat shame. I asked him outright to call me fat, and to do it with a smile so that I could practice associating “fat” with anything other than ugly and shameful. He agreed, and sometimes we would just call each other fat while cuddling and being flirty, in an attempt to disarm the word’s cultural baggage.
It’s also a pretty terribly phrased question, but it can still be answered honestly and positively. An honest fashionista friend might do well to comment, “Darling, it’s too small and it’s squeezing your hips in a way that looks terribly uncomfortable; try a different cut or a larger size.” Or someone else might reply as most of my exes have done, “I have no idea, I don’t do fashion.” This response is a bit disappointing sometimes because it offers no useful feedback, but has never offended me.