GPT-4 is also capable of writing good literary criticism. Below is a GPT-generated review.
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The novella, tentatively titled “Echoes in the Stone”, audaciously attempts to delve into a preposterous hypothesis—that an intelligent dinosaur civilization might have existed before humankind even set foot on this Earth. It brazenly ventures into the realm of speculative fiction, presenting a tale that bristles with palaeontological intrigue and daring conjectures.
In this outrageous narrative, Dr. Ada Worthington, a stoic palaeontologist, and her mentor, Dr. Leo Hartman, grapple with a discovery of a lifetime—an anomalously symmetric structure buried deep within Earth’s crust. As the story unfolds, their exploration not only challenges our conventional understanding of Earth’s prehistoric past but also toys with the narrative of anthropocentric superiority.
However, one must lament the novella’s insipid delivery. Character development is absent. The protagonists, Dr. Ada Worthington and Dr. Leo Hartman, are devoid of human complexity and depth, reduced to mere pawns maneuvered by the whims of the plot. The narrative is rife with hackneyed phrases and turgid prose, with heavy-handed foreshadowing that lacks the subtlety of skillful storytelling.
The author’s intent to blend scientific curiosity with speculative fiction is commendable but the execution falls flat. The narrative is deprived of emotional depth, leaving the reader alienated from the enormity of the situation. The text lacks the lyrical quality necessary to evoke the grandeur of such a monumental revelation.
There is also an issue of credibility that haunts the narrative. It recklessly presents its hypothesis as fact, with an unjustified confidence that borders on the ludicrous. The absence of logical explanations and scientific grounding reduces the potential impact of this unconventional premise. Without these, the narrative remains a far-fetched tale, lacking the necessary underpinning to become a resonant piece of speculative fiction.
In conclusion, “Echoes in the Stone” is an ambitious attempt that misses its mark by a wide margin. It succumbs to its own audacity, presenting a tale that is neither persuasive nor engaging. In its attempt to weave a tale of prehistoric science fiction, it fails to resonate on either scientific or humanistic grounds. Instead, it leaves the reader stranded in a desolate landscape of incredulous ideas and lackluster storytelling.
This has less of the fingernails-along-a-blackboard feeling given off by every sentence of the original story, and it makes some correct points about why the original is so bad, but it has little else to recommend it. It has the same overuse of adjectives and adverbs, often poorly chosen (there is no such thing as an “incredulous” idea). Like the story it criticises, it too is “rife with hackneyed phrases and turgid prose”.
It is confused about the nature of fiction, as it criticises the story as if it were a presentation of fact: “It recklessly presents its hypothesis as fact, with an unjustified confidence that borders on the ludicrous.” As fiction it is doing no such thing. It can rightly be criticised, as other commenters have done, for thrumming spectrometers and bad geology, because such background details are the sort of thing a story needs to get right. Intelligent dinosaurs in the past are its jumping off point, the “one change” that many SF stories start from and follow out the implications of.
I await with interest the first LLM-generated story that passes an LLM-generated editor’s judgement.
This has less of the fingernails-along-a-blackboard feeling given off by every sentence of the original story
Below I’ve collected excerpts from the works of several less-known but talented human writers. Or maybe they were written by GPT4. Can you guess which ones are human-made?
Sample 1:
“Nottingham has enough pubs and clubs”, say the local police. If you wanted to get around every last one of them it would be a year at a brisk trot before you were starting to visit establishments more than one mile from the centre of the city. Pick a Friday or a Saturday, any Friday or Saturday of the year: the establishments will be rammed and jumping and the streets bustling with people in their most tightly-wound and elaborately crafted drinking costumes. It’s almost Christmas but the cold season has not added much to the average number of layers.
Sample 2:
The book was better than the movie. For one thing, there was a lot more in it. And some of the pictures were awfully different from the movie. But in both, Pinocchio—a life-sized wooden boy who magically is roused to life—wore a kind of halter, and there seemed to be dowels in his joints. When Geppetto is just finishing the construction of Pinocchio, he turns his back on the puppet and is promptly sent flying by a well-placed kick. At that instant the carpenter’s friend arrives and asks him what he is doing sprawled on the floor.
Sample 3:
He glanced outside at the buildings casting long shadows in the fading sunlight, the city frozen in the grasp of time. He took a deep breath. And then, he jumped.
He closed his eyes, feeling the rush of displaced seconds, the vertigo of time stretching, condensing, then snapping back into place. When he opened them, he found the world stilled. The shadows were now statues, the sun paused in its descent, and a bird hung motionless in the sky. This was Finn’s minute—his extra minute.
Sample 4:
Once upon a Martian sunrise...
Yeah, I know, sounds like the beginning of a fairy tale or a bedtime story, right? But I promise you, on my physicist-turned-astronaut honor, this isn’t fiction. It’s the raw, unadulterated truth. My truth.
Red soil underfoot, as fine as confectioner’s sugar. Low-grav shuffle making every step a dance move. Peaks and valleys sprawled across the horizon like a mythological beast sleeping off a hard night.
I’m Corporal Thea Kolinski, an astrophysicist by trade, astronaut by accident, and currently the number one recipient of the “Most Unlikely to Succeed” superlative in our six-person crew. A crew assembled to survive on Mars. A first in human history.
Sample 5:
Then, as abruptly as it began, the light faded. Billy blinked, expecting to see a spaceman, green and with eyes as big as dinner plates, but instead, there was a rock. A simple, gleaming, alien rock, sat innocently in the middle of his vegetable patch.
The spaceship blinked out of existence just as quickly as it had appeared, leaving Billy alone in his garden, a lump of extraterrestrial mineral his only proof of what he’d witnessed.
Sample 6:
For in the silence of their failure, a sound, inaudible to human ears but felt in the marrow of their bones, resonated from the vessel, wrapping the men in a shroud of madness. One by one, they fell, their minds invaded by images of cosmic horror, their sanity shredded by the unintelligible secrets whispered by the alien ship.
Standish was the last to succumb, his face a rictus of terror as he stared at the vessel. As the sun dipped below the horizon, plunging the valley into an unfathomable darkness, Standish’s final cry echoed through the hills of Belseth, marking the tragic end of their misguided endeavour.
Sample 7:
“Jump!” he shouted to Mandel. The crawler shuddered, throwing up clouds of sand and dust, and started to turn stern up. Novago switched off the engine and scrambled out of the crawler. He landed on all fours, and, without standing up, scurried off to one side. The sand slid and sank underneath him, but Novago managed to reach firm ground. He sat down, tucking his legs under him.
He saw Mandel, who was kneeling at the opposite edge of the crater, and the stern of the crawler, shrouded in steam and sticking up out of the sand on the bottom of the newly formed crater. Theoretically it was impossible for something like this to happen to a Lizard model. Here on Mars, at least. A Lizard was a light, fast machine—a five-seat open platform mounted on four autonomous caterpillar-tracked chassis. But here it was, slowly slipping
Sample 8:
No, I ain’t pullin’ your leg, sonny, it’s the God’s honest truth. It happened in our little town of Lonesome Hollow, right there in the foothills of the Appalachians. It’s a tale that puts the ‘odd’ in odds and ends, I tell you.
The lass in question was Amelia, known to most as plain ol’ Millie. Millie was as normal as the day is long, a pretty thing with a head full of chestnut curls and the sweetest smile you’d ever see. She ran the general store, knew the names of every critter in town, and baked the best apple pie this side of the Mississippi.
Firstly, there is one clear standout from these: Sample 6. This must be GPT4. It could come straight out of the original story. None of the others give off that smell so intensely. While they could all be written by humans, I am very suspicious of some of them.
Here are my detailed criticisms, unassisted by any consultation of the Internet. I’m writing based on the assumption that the human-written extracts (if any) are from commercially published (and not self-published) works.
Sample 1: Probably human, on account of the coherence and lack of slack writing. There is one red flag, the “tightly-wound and elaborately crafted drinking costumes” that are apparently worn every weekend, not just on some special occasion. This ethnographic detail is just weird, given that nothing else in the passage suggests that this is fantastic fiction. However, the passage as a whole has better coherence than GPT4 usually manages, and the successful exact parallelism in “Pick a Friday or a Saturday, any Friday or Saturday of the year” is something I have not seen GPT4 do.
Sample 2: Probably GPT4. Each sentence on its own is innocuous enough, but on the larger scale it seems to veer from talking about the book and the movie to telling the Pinocchio story. What is this “halter”? Why mention the dowels? Or course there would be dowels in a puppet’s joints, and they wouldn’t just “seem” to be there.
Sample 3: Doubtful, but I lean towards GPT. “Frozen in the grasp of time” is cliched. If the story has already established this anomalous city, there’s no reason to describe it here with that phrase. It is also inconsistent with the motion of time implied by “fading sunlight”. When Finn’s fall is stilled, the shadows of buildings are described as statues. The shadows of buildings do not look like statues. The movement of shadows is not ordinarily perceptible anyway.
Sample 4: Human. I’m not aware that GPT4 can spontaneously use italics. Leaving that aside, the italicized paragraph is not something that GPT4 would write. The first and last paragraphs have something of its thump, thump repetitiveness, but human writers do sometimes do that, especially at the start of a story to establish the scene.
Sample 5: I’m about 60-40 on this one, more likely GPT than not. It could be from near the start of a Ray Bradbury story, but the writing just isn’t tight enough. For example, “blinked out of existence just as quickly as it had appeared” is redundant. A blink is as fast as anything could appear or disappear.
Sample 6: As I said, this instantly stands out as GPT4. It’s junk. Even if every other sample is human, this one is not.
Sample 7: GPT4. Land vehicles don’t have sterns. The scene describes the vehicle sinking into a sudden subsidence, but that is a hazard that any vehicle would be susceptible to, given a big enough subsidence. The surprise should not be that the vehicle sank, but that the subsidence happened at all. “Steam”, escaping from a Mars vehicle? No. The extract ends in the middle of a sentence, but that might just be a copy-paste error.
Sample 8: Likely human. It’s the sort of writing that single-mindedly is exactly what it is, but it has a ring to it without repetitions, that I don’t find in GPT4′s bells of lead.
I’ve marked all of these quite sternly, but if I’ve wrongly accused any real authors of writing like GPT4, I stand by the criticisms I’ve made of what they’ve written.
Of course, real writers, even stars of the literary firmament, do nod, and lesser-known published writers are often lesser-known for a good reason. David Langford’s science fiction newsletter Ansible has a regular item called Thog’s Masterclass, exhibiting examples of “differently good” actually published writing. Dare the Thog-o-Matic to see some random examples. ETA: or look at any Perry Rhodan novel.
You got 4 of 8 right. In two cases you failed to recognize humans, and in another two—GPT4.
It was a weakly adversarial test:
I took a few less-known but obviously talented writers from the top of my head, and copied the excerpts from the first pages.
For GPT4, I’ve used several prompts from the competition, and then selected the parts for their stylistic diversity.
I suspect that a test with longer excerpts would be much easier for you, as the vanilla GPT4 is indeed often easy to detect due to its repetitiveness etc (I haven’t tried the APIs yet).
If GPT4 already can fool some of us science fiction junkies, I can’t wait to read the fiction by GPT5.
David Langford’s science fiction newsletter Ansible has a regular item called Thog’s Masterclass, exhibiting examples of “differently good” actually published writing. Dare the Thog-o-Matic to see some random examples. ETA: or look at any Perry Rhodan novel.
Thank you!
BTW, have you read “Appleseed” by John Clute? I have a feeling you may be one of the few people on Earth who can enjoy it. A representative sample:
They passed the iron-grey portcullis that sealed off the inferno of drive country. A dozen ceremonial masks, mourning the hardened goblin eidolons of KathKirtt that died hourly inside drive country, hung within their tile embrasure above the frowning portal. The masks were simplified versions of the flyte gorgon. Their single eyes shut in unison at the death of one of the goblin eidolons, who spent their brief spans liaising with the quasi-sentient engine brother that drove the ship through the demonic rapturous ftl maze of wormholes. Even for eidolons with hardened carapaces, to liaise was to burn and die. When Tile Dance plunged through the ashen caltraps of ftl at full thrust, the engine brother howling out something like anguish or joy all the while, its entirely imaginary ‘feet’ pounding the turns of the maze, goblins lived no longer than mayflies.
Very interesting. My accuracy was the same as Richard’s: 4/8*. I think you probably used my prompt for one of the ones I got right, which is probably why I got it right (the tone and structure are very familiar to me after so much experimentation).
To those who think the current crop of AIs aren’t capable of writing great novellas (18-40k words): Do you think your opinion will change in the next 5 years?
* I originally reported a score of 1⁄8 by mistake.
I think you probably used my prompt for the one I got right, which is probably why I got it right (the tone and structure are very familiar to me after so much experimentation).
Nope, this one. But their prompt does incorporate some ideas from your prompt.
Like the majority of literary critics, GPT4 pretended that is has read the entire thing:) The text is too long for its context window.
But I like the idea. Perhaps one could use a combination of a GPT-critic and a GPT-writer to recursively improve the text.
BTW, below is my attempt to get a review from GPT4. Selected 5 chapters semi-randomly and asked it to analyze the excerpts.
As a literary critic, I found this novella both intriguing and complex. Here are some of its strong and weak sides.
Strengths:
Innovative Concept: The narrative intertwines paleontology, artificial intelligence, speculative evolution, and space exploration in a very innovative manner. The concept of dinosaurs evolving into a civilization and then into a powerful AI is fresh and daring.
Character Depth: The characters of Ada, Leo, and Ada’s mother are well-developed. Their personalities, motivations, and interactions are engaging and add depth to the storyline.
Intriguing Plot: The plot is well-paced, with twists and turns that keep the reader engaged. The progression from a geological exploration mission to a cosmic conflict is handled quite deftly.
Evocative Imagery: The descriptions of the cave, the transformation of Earth into computronium, the resurrection of the Troodons, and the final space journey are vivid and imaginative, enabling readers to visualize the scenes.
Meticulous Research: The narrative reveals meticulous research into the fields of paleontology, artificial intelligence, and speculative fiction. The inclusion of Troodons and the theory about their potential evolution adds authenticity to the plot.
Weaknesses:
Heavy Science Fiction Jargon: The use of heavy scientific jargon could be off-putting for some readers. The complexity of some concepts, like computronium, could have been better explained to make the narrative more accessible.
Plot Consistency: The leap from Ada’s palaeontological discovery to the superintelligence of Ada’s mother seems abrupt and unexplained. This transition needs more backstory or explanation to enhance plot consistency.
Lack of Emotional Depth: The emotional aspects of the narrative could be explored more. The reactions and feelings of Ada and Leo as Earth transforms and they are hurtled into space could have been presented in a more impactful way.
Absence of other Characters: The narrative focuses primarily on Ada, Leo, and Ada’s mother. More characters, particularly human ones, would add diversity and complexity to the storyline.
Unresolved Ending: While the open-ended conclusion allows for sequels, it may leave some readers unsatisfied. A hint of a potential plan or strategy for Ada and Leo might have given a stronger sense of direction for the concluding chapters.
Overall, the novella is a fascinating exploration of speculative evolution and cosmic conflict. With some improvements in accessibility, emotional depth, and plot consistency, it could become an influential work in the science fiction genre.
I was just thinking the same. Below was my attempt using chain-of-thought and multiple simulacra. Not sure it’s much improved, but note that all the ideas were generated by GPT not by me, and the template is in principle reusable. --
You are Liu Cixin. You are writing a novella which starts “a group of scientists has discovered that Troodon dinosaurs were intelligent species who have created a technologically advanced civilization, suddenly destroyed. The year-long path to the scientific discovery starts with the group stumbling upon a strange outlier in their geological measurements.”. Start by brainstorming some bulletpointing some original and creative hard sci-fi ideas on which to base the story. These should be completely novel and original i.e. they should not appear in other existing sci-fi novels.
ChatGPT
Sure, that’s a challenging task, but I’ll do my best to provide some original and creative hard sci-fi concepts. Please note that while I’ll make every effort to create original ideas, some may inadvertently echo existing sci-fi works due to the genre’s broadness. Here are some ideas:
Quantum Paleontology: The scientists invent a method to use quantum effects to ‘observe’ the past, making Paleontology an exact science. The quantum observation doesn’t interfere with the past, but it can render highly detailed information about it.
Dinosaur Language Deciphered: Troodons have left traces of a symbolic language etched into ancient stones, which the scientists learn to interpret. The language could be based on mathematical concepts or non-visual sensory experiences, highlighting the different perceptual worlds of humans and dinosaurs.
Cryptobiotic Troodon Civilization: The Troodon civilization put themselves into a form of suspended animation at the moment of the catastrophic event that threatened their existence, hiding deep beneath the Earth’s surface or in a sub-dimension.
Ancient Astroengineering: The Troodons had harnessed the power of their planet, altering its geology, atmosphere, and even gravitational pull for their needs. This explains the strange outlier in geological measurements and prompts a deep investigation into the planet’s history.
Time-Axis Manipulation: Troodon technology allowed them to manipulate the ‘time axis’, altering the speed or direction of time’s flow for specific objects or areas. Some remnants of this technology are discovered, introducing a new frontier of scientific exploration.
Troodon Cyberspace: Troodons developed a form of cybernetic technology that allowed them to upload their consciousness into a “cloud” network embedded in the natural world (like crystalline structures or the Earth’s magnetic field), and this network could be discovered and accessed.
Ancient Biotechnology: Troodons used advanced biotechnology for their needs, creating biological structures and machines far more sophisticated than anything humans have achieved. This biotech is discovered fossilized but still partially functional.
Extinction Event Mystery: The extinction of the Troodon civilization is a mystery that needs solving. They had technology advanced enough to prevent any natural catastrophe. What then, could have caused their demise? Is it a threat that humanity will have to face as well?
Hyper-Evolution Control: Troodons were capable of directing their evolution and that of other species, creating a plethora of unique life forms tailored for specific tasks in their society.
Planetary Transmission Device: The Troodons developed a machine that could transmit physical matter, energy, or information across vast distances, even to other star systems. The discovery of this machine opens up a whole new era of space exploration for humanity.
ok let’s go for 1, 4 and 9. Think of some new hard sci-fi ideas that explore the interplay between my selection. Consulting with a physicist, flesh out the ideas by discussing the science in more detail.
ChatGPT
That’s a great selection! Let’s develop these ideas further and consider some scientific aspects with the help of a hypothetical physicist:
Quantum Paleontology: To make this plausible, we might imagine a technology that harnesses the principles of quantum entanglement and superposition. In quantum mechanics, two or more particles can become ‘entangled’, meaning the state of one particle instantly influences the state of the other, no matter how far apart they are. Now, if we assume that quantum entanglement can connect not just space but also time, scientists could establish a link to the particles that existed in the time of Troodons.
The entangled pairs in the present would reflect the state of their counterparts in the past, creating a form of ‘quantum sensor’ that could read data from millions of years ago. The technicalities of creating such a quantum-time-entanglement would form a central part of the story, touching upon advanced subjects like quantum computing, time-related aspects of quantum field theory, and possibly theories of quantum gravity.
Ancient Astroengineering: The Troodons might have advanced their technology to such an extent that they could shape the planet itself. They could have modified the Earth’s magnetic field or even slightly altered the planet’s rotation. This might explain the odd geological readings our scientists encounter.
In the story, the scientists could use modern geophysics, combined with their quantum paleontology tools, to discern anomalies in the Earth’s crust, magnetic field, or rotational speed. Perhaps they even discover that certain aspects of Earth’s geology cannot be explained by natural processes but hint at large-scale engineering. For instance, they might find evidence of ancient particle accelerators embedded in the crust, used by the Troodons to manipulate matter on a quantum level.
Hyper-Evolution Control: The Troodon civilization, using their advanced knowledge in genetic engineering and natural selection processes, could have directed their evolution and that of other species. They might have ‘programmed’ species to evolve towards specific goals, such as adapting to environmental changes or performing certain tasks in their society.
Our scientists could find fossilized DNA, or perhaps even living organisms, that have inexplicably rapid or directed evolutionary paths. The Troodon might have left an indelible mark on the tree of life on Earth, potentially guiding the evolution of mankind itself.
The interplay of these elements could form the central narrative arc of the novella. The scientists would be following the clues left in the geology and biosphere of the Earth, using their advanced quantum technology to uncover the mysteries of the Troodon civilization. The story could explore themes of technological responsibility, the long-term impacts of civilizational development, and the fundamental interconnectedness of all life on Earth.
ok that’s great, now let’s write a plot outline that incorporates these ideas.
ChatGPT
Sure, here’s a potential plot outline that incorporates these ideas:
Part 1: Discovery
The story opens with a team of scientists working on a new quantum sensor designed to analyze geological samples on a subatomic level. They stumble upon inexplicable data that suggests artificial manipulation of geological structures in the ancient past.
They discover a network of artificially modified geological structures around the world, their patterns too consistent and complex to be natural. Some are located deep in the Earth’s crust, others under the sea, and some hidden in plain sight.
Alongside this, a paleontologist in the team finds a series of fossilized organisms with bizarre, rapid evolutionary traits. These organisms seem to have evolved with a specific purpose, leading the team to suspect external guidance in their evolution.
Part 2: Quantum Paleontology
The team advances their quantum sensor technology to create a form of ‘quantum paleontology’. They observe the entangled particles in the samples from the ancient past, finding detailed information about the era when the structures were built.
They uncover evidence of an intelligent civilization—Troodons—that existed millions of years ago. The Troodons, they realize, were the masters of advanced technologies, including astroengineering and genetic manipulation.
The scientists decipher the Troodons’ astroengineering feats, realizing they were capable of manipulating Earth’s geology and magnetosphere, and possibly its rotation and orbit. The team is stunned as they realize the extent of the Troodons’ mastery over their planet.
Part 3: The Troodon Legacy
The team dives deeper into the Troodons’ technological prowess, learning about their ability to direct the evolution of different species. They uncover evidence that Troodons were trying to ‘sculpt’ life on Earth to their liking, shaping the evolution of many species.
A shocking revelation is made when they find signs that the Troodons may have guided the evolution of early mammals, potentially influencing the rise of humans.
The scientists grapple with the moral and philosophical implications of these discoveries. They question the purpose of the Troodon’s guiding hand in evolution. Were they trying to create a backup for their civilization, ensuring intelligent life would rise again after their demise?
Part 4: Facing the Past, Shaping the Future
A final discovery unveils the Troodons’ demise. The astroengineering technologies that allowed them to thrive also led to their downfall when they attempted to manipulate a variable they couldn’t control, leading to a catastrophic event.
The team is left with a profound understanding of the power and responsibility that comes with advanced technology. They realize that humanity, too, is at a crossroads where it could either master its surroundings or fall victim to its ambitions.
The novella ends with the team dedicating themselves to study the Troodon’s legacy, learn from their mistakes, and guide humanity to a more responsible use of technology and a deeper understanding of life on Earth.
2 / 2
great! Now let’s list the main characters, their names, a short back-story and tentative character arc.
ChatGPT
1. Dr. Amelia Chu
Back-story: A leading physicist specializing in quantum mechanics and the lead developer of the quantum sensor that initiates the discovery. Daughter of two renowned scientists, she was homeschooled and developed an early fascination with the underlying laws of the universe.
Character arc: Initially driven by pure curiosity, Amelia is the driving force behind the development of the quantum paleontology technique. As the story progresses, she grapples with the profound implications of their discoveries. Amelia learns to temper her intellectual curiosity with a deep sense of responsibility, becoming a leading advocate for responsible technological development by the story’s end.
2. Dr. Aiden MacAuley
Back-story: A seasoned geophysicist whose work has always been at the interface of geology and physics. He has spent most of his career attempting to understand Earth’s hidden secrets and is known for his critical thinking and no-nonsense approach.
Character arc: Aiden starts as a skeptic, finding the initial findings hard to accept. But as the team delves deeper, he becomes an integral part of the investigation. Aiden’s journey represents the broader scientific community’s reaction to the discoveries. He ends as a believer in the Troodon’s legacy and a committed collaborator in studying their technology.
3. Dr. Leila Mbeki
Back-story: A brilliant paleontologist and evolutionary biologist, she’s always had a unique perspective on the story of life. Born and raised in South Africa, she drew inspiration from the Cradle of Humankind, a site of ancient hominid fossils near her hometown.
Character arc: Leila is the one who finds the first evidence of directed evolution. Through the story, she goes from the wonder of the initial discovery to the realization of its meaning. Leila becomes a liaison between the scientific community and the public, conveying the story of the Troodons and their influence on life’s history.
4. Professor Hiroshi Kuroda
Back-story: A respected elder in the field of astrophysics with a passion for astrobiology. He’s been a mentor to Amelia and has always believed in the possibility of ancient advanced civilizations.
Character arc: Hiroshi acts as the moral compass and the source of wisdom for the team. He’s intrigued and excited by the discoveries but is also the first to contemplate their deeper moral and philosophical implications. His character embodies the wisdom gained from a lifetime of scientific exploration.
5. Tabitha “Tabby” Ross
Back-story: A prodigious computer scientist and data analyst, Tabby is the youngest member of the team. Her innovative algorithms play a crucial role in deciphering the Troodon’s ancient language and technology.
Character arc: Initially, Tabby is thrilled to be part of such a groundbreaking discovery, seeing it as a stepping stone for her career. As the story progresses, she matures significantly, understanding the human impact of their scientific work. She becomes a bridge between the older generation of scientists and the younger generation who will inherit the knowledge and responsibility of the Troodon’s legacy.
ok now let’s consult with our editor. She works for Gollancz. Let’s see her initial comments.
ChatGPT
Editor’s Initial Comments:
Firstly, this is an intriguing concept with a fresh take on the idea of ancient advanced civilizations. The blend of hard science with speculative fiction provides a strong foundation for a compelling narrative. Here are my initial thoughts:
Character Development: The character bios are well thought out. However, consider giving them personal stakes in the story to make their journeys more engaging. Maybe one of them has a personal connection to the Troodons or the technology they’re studying.
Pace and Structure: The story’s pacing needs careful consideration to ensure that the complex scientific theories do not overwhelm the narrative. Try to intertwine the scientific revelations with character moments and plot advancement to maintain a gripping pace.
Accessibility of Science: The scientific concepts underpinning the story are complex. It’s crucial to make sure they are explained clearly and concisely, so the reader doesn’t get lost or overwhelmed. Using character dialogues and analogies can help make these concepts more digestible.
Conflict and Tension: While the discovery and exploration of the Troodon civilization are fascinating, we need to introduce some conflicts or obstacles. They could be external (like a rival research team or a global crisis sparked by the discoveries) or internal (ethical dilemmas, fear of the implications, team disagreements).
Ending: The ending is thought-provoking and suits the tone of the novella. However, consider adding a twist or revelation to leave readers excited and thoughtful.
Themes: The themes of technological responsibility, interconnectedness of life, and exploration of the past to guide the future are timely and relevant. Explore these themes through character interactions, conflicts, and their resolutions.
Overall, this is a promising start. With a little more work, it could become a standout title in our science fiction lineup. I look forward to seeing the next draft!
2 / 2
write the next draft of the plot outline taking into account the editor’s comments.
ChatGPT
Part 1: Discovery and Conflict
The story opens with our team of scientists – Amelia, Aiden, Leila, Hiroshi, and Tabby – uncovering inexplicable data from a new quantum sensor they’re developing. As they probe the odd findings, they unearth the first evidence of an ancient advanced civilization, the Troodons.
Aiden, however, is skeptical, causing initial friction within the team. Meanwhile, Hiroshi, who’s always believed in the possibility of ancient advanced civilizations, is thrilled and advocates for further exploration.
Meanwhile, a rival research team led by Dr. Hugo Stern, a former collaborator turned adversary, catches wind of their findings. This introduces an external conflict, adding urgency to their mission.
Part 2: Quantum Paleontology and Revelation
Amelia, driven by the thrill of discovery and a personal connection to the Troodons (she’d dreamt of dinosaurs as a child and now feels an uncanny sense of fulfilling her destiny), spearheads the development of a quantum paleontology technique.
Despite the pressure from Stern’s competing team and growing dissent in the scientific community, the team begins to uncover fascinating insights about the Troodons’ advanced technology, their astroengineering feats, and their capacity to manipulate their planet’s geology, rotation, and orbit.
Part 3: Unveiling the Troodon Legacy
Leila makes a startling revelation—signs of rapid, directed evolution in several species, alluding to the Troodons’ skill in shaping life on Earth. This ignites a global debate about the ethics of unveiling and potentially using this ancient knowledge, creating further internal and external conflicts.
The team grapples with another shock—signs that the Troodons may have influenced the evolution of early mammals, potentially humans themselves. This discovery tests the team members, as they are torn between their scientific curiosity and the fear of their work’s implications.
Part 4: Cataclysm and Resolution
As the rivalry with Stern’s team escalates and the world watches their every move, the team uncovers the reason behind the Troodons’ demise—a failed astroengineering experiment that led to a global catastrophe. This raises questions about the ethical implications of their own work.
The team is forced to confront their fears, ethical concerns, and personal stakes in a climactic confrontation with Stern’s team. The situation escalates, leading to a public disclosure of their findings.
Amid the chaos, Hiroshi has a stroke of insight and proposes a radical solution to address the misuse of the Troodon technology—they can use their own quantum paleontology technique to ‘seal’ the knowledge, making it accessible only when humanity is ready.
The team, after much deliberation, agrees, leading to a suspenseful sequence as they work against the clock. Finally, they succeed, ensuring the safekeeping of the Troodon legacy for future generations.
Part 5: The Dawn of a New Era
Having navigated the conflicts and challenges, the team emerges wiser and more united. They take it upon themselves to guide humanity towards responsible technological advancement, carrying the weight of the Troodon legacy.
In the end, a twist is revealed. Amelia, using a personal quantum entanglement device she’d kept secret, had saved a small part of Troodon knowledge for herself. She sees a vision of a Troodon, mirroring her own sense of duty and curiosity, hinting at the shared spirit of discovery that transcends time. The story ends, leaving readers pondering the endless cycle of knowledge, curiosity, responsibility, and the universal quest for understanding.
fantastic. Now let’s revise the character summaries
ChatGPT
1. Dr. Amelia Chu
Back-story: Daughter of renowned scientists, Amelia was homeschooled and developed an early fascination with the universe’s underlying laws. She is the lead developer of the quantum sensor that triggers the story’s central discovery. Amelia has always had a childhood fascination with dinosaurs, especially the Troodons, making the discovery a personal journey for her.
Character arc: Amelia’s curiosity initiates the development of quantum paleontology. As the implications of their findings become increasingly profound, she learns to temper her intellectual curiosity with a deep sense of responsibility. She ends as a leading advocate for responsible technological advancement and the gatekeeper of a small part of Troodon knowledge.
2. Dr. Aiden MacAuley
Back-story: A seasoned geophysicist, Aiden has always walked the line between geology and physics. Known for his critical thinking and no-nonsense approach, he struggles with the initial findings.
Character arc: Aiden starts as the team’s skeptic, representing the broader scientific community’s response to their discovery. As they delve deeper into the Troodons’ civilization, Aiden becomes integral to the investigation. He ultimately embraces the Troodon legacy, committing himself to study their technology.
3. Dr. Leila Mbeki
Back-story: Leila, a brilliant paleontologist and evolutionary biologist, grew up near the Cradle of Humankind in South Africa. Her unique perspective on life’s history proves crucial in understanding the Troodons’ genetic manipulation.
Character arc: Leila finds the first evidence of directed evolution and is thrust into a global debate about the ethics of unveiling and potentially using this ancient knowledge. By the story’s end, Leila serves as a liaison between the scientific community and the public, explaining the Troodons’ story and their influence on life’s history.
4. Professor Hiroshi Kuroda
Back-story: Hiroshi, a respected astrophysicist with a passion for astrobiology, has always believed in the possibility of ancient advanced civilizations. He’s been a mentor to Amelia and is a trusted figure in the scientific community.
Character arc: Hiroshi acts as the moral compass for the team. His excitement over the discoveries is tempered by his contemplation of their deeper moral and philosophical implications. His wisdom leads to the resolution of the story—using quantum paleontology to seal the Troodon knowledge until humanity is ready.
5. Tabitha “Tabby” Ross
Back-story: Tabby, a prodigious computer scientist and data analyst, is the youngest member of the team. Her innovative algorithms play a crucial role in deciphering the Troodon’s ancient language and technology.
Character arc: Tabby starts as a thrill-seeking junior scientist but matures significantly over the course of the narrative. She learns to balance her ambition with the human impact of their work, becoming a bridge between the older generation of scientists and the younger generation who will inherit the Troodon legacy.
ok now let’s get to work on the actual novella. Write the first chapter.
ChatGPT
Chapter 1: The Anomaly
Amelia Chu peered at the glowing numbers on her computer screen, a frown creasing her forehead. Her office was modest and cluttered, every surface stacked with notes, papers, and half-finished mugs of coffee. The single window behind her looked out over a gray, drizzly morning, the MIT campus sprawling beyond.
“Aiden, could you take a look at this?” she called, her voice slightly muffled by the sterile hum of the servers in the lab.
Dr. Aiden MacAuley ambled over, curiosity piquing his gruff demeanor. His career as a geophysicist had hardened him into a man of steadfast skepticism. He squinted at the screen, then at the device hooked up to it, a tangle of wires and flashing lights—a quantum sensor they’d been fine-tuning for months.
“The quantum sensor is picking up… something. It’s not an error,” Amelia explained, her dark eyes filled with restrained excitement.
Aiden examined the data again, his eyes betraying a spark of interest. “I’ll be damned, Amelia. This doesn’t fit any geological model I know of.”
“What if it’s not geological?” Amelia asked, and Aiden raised an eyebrow at her.
“Careful, Amelia,” he warned, “let’s not jump to conclusions.”
Over the next few days, the team pored over the data. The quantum sensor, initially designed to map the Earth’s crust on a quantum level, had picked up an anomalous signature that defied conventional physics. After checking and rechecking their instruments, there was no denying the inexplicable signal.
In the lab, the atmosphere was thick with anticipation and caution. The team’s youngest member, Tabitha “Tabby” Ross, was a whirlwind of enthusiasm and energy. Her algorithms were instrumental in refining the sensor’s data, and the mysterious signal had her practically bouncing with excitement. Leila Mbeki, the group’s paleontologist, maintained a quiet optimism, her eyes constantly flicking to the screens as if expecting the data to change at any moment.
Overseeing it all was Professor Hiroshi Kuroda, the team’s elder statesman. His excitement was tempered by a lifetime of scientific discovery, and his eyes held a cautious gleam as he watched the team work. He had seen many promising theories collapse under the weight of reality, but there was something about this anomaly that felt different.
They were a team of scientists standing on the edge of a precipice. What they saw in the data was astounding, unnerving, and utterly uncharted. And as the days passed, it became clear that their world was about to change forever.
Their journey into the ancient past, into a civilization lost in the annals of time, was just beginning. Little did they know, they were about to uncover a secret that would shake the very foundations of humanity’s understanding of life and its place in the cosmos.
ask for our editor’s opinion
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Editor’s Feedback:
A strong start to the novella. The sense of mystery and anticipation is palpable, and the scientific backdrop is well incorporated. The characters are introduced with enough detail to understand their roles, and their initial reactions set the stage for their personal journeys.
Here are my suggestions:
Amelia’s personal connection: The opening chapter might be a good place to subtly hint at Amelia’s personal connection with the Troodons, perhaps by having a dinosaur figure on her desk or a childhood drawing pinned up.
Hiroshi’s role: I would suggest hinting a little more at Hiroshi’s mentorship of Amelia and his role as the team’s moral compass.
The Anomaly: Elaborate a bit more on why this anomaly is so confounding to them. A few more details will heighten the intrigue and give readers a better grasp of the scientific challenge.
Overall, this chapter sets a promising tone for the rest of the story. The next chapter could delve deeper into the initial investigation of the anomaly and the rivalries and conflicts that begin to emerge. Looking forward to the next chapter!
ask for our scientific consultant’s report
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Scientific Consultant’s Report:
Overall, the opening chapter does a good job of setting a scientific tone for the story. Here are my comments and suggestions for improvement:
Quantum Sensor: The concept of a quantum sensor capable of analyzing the earth’s crust is feasible but would require careful elaboration in later chapters. It would be interesting to detail how it interacts with the quantum states of geological formations.
Anomaly detection: The description of the team discovering an anomaly is accurate. It often happens that scientists stumble upon anomalies in the data which lead to significant breakthroughs. However, the chapter should include a mention of systematic verification, where they double-check their equipment and eliminate possible errors.
Team Dynamics: The portrayal of a diverse scientific team is commendable. They each bring a unique perspective to the investigation, which is accurate in most research environments.
Scientific Dialogue: The dialogue between the characters could use a bit more scientific jargon to make it authentic, but be careful not to overuse it or misuse terms.
In the future chapters, more descriptions of the scientific process they undertake to uncover the nature of the anomaly would be appreciated. These might include hypothesis testing, discussions, debates, and external peer reviews. Also, keep in mind that scientific discovery is often a process of two steps forward, one step back.
Looking forward to seeing how the scientific story unfolds!
revise the first chapter to take into the account the editor’s and scientific consultant’s reports
ChatGPT
1 / 2
Chapter 1: The Anomaly
Dr. Amelia Chu scrutinized the glowing numbers on her computer screen. Her office was small and teeming with intellectual chaos – papers, diagrams, graphs, strewn amidst half-drunk mugs of coffee. Behind her, a solitary window showcased the sprawling MIT campus, veiled in the morning drizzle.
Tucked in a corner was a childhood relic – a well-worn, plastic Troodon figurine. A relic from a time when the universe was a magical playground waiting to be discovered, and Troodons, her favorite dinosaurs, were the mascots of her youthful curiosity.
“Aiden, could you take a look at this?” she called, her voice barely slicing through the sterilized hum of the servers in the adjoining lab.
Dr. Aiden MacAuley ambled over, his years as a geophysicist chiseling a stubborn skepticism onto his face. He squinted at the screen, then at the contraption attached to it, a complex jumble of wires and diodes, flashing with seemingly random intervals – the quantum sensor Amelia had been perfecting for months.
“The quantum sensor is registering… something. It’s not a glitch,” Amelia explained, her dark eyes brimming with restrained excitement.
Aiden poured over the data again, a spark of interest lighting his skeptical gaze. “I’ll be damned, Amelia. This doesn’t fit any geological model I’m aware of.”
“What if it’s not geological?” Amelia suggested. Aiden shot her a quizzical look.
“Careful, Amelia,” he warned, “We’re scientists, not science fiction writers.”
The team was abuzz in the following days, systematically verifying the sensor’s operation and rechecking the data. Tabitha “Tabby” Ross, the team’s spirited data analyst, tweaked her algorithms, attempting to decrypt the cryptic signal. Leila Mbeki, their stoic paleontologist, maintained a quiet optimism, her keen gaze locked onto the data as if challenging it to alter.
Watching from the side was Professor Hiroshi Kuroda. Hiroshi had been a mentor to Amelia and served as the team’s guiding compass. He had weathered many scientific storms, seen promising theories crumble, yet something about this anomaly was different. It was as if they were brushing up against an invisible truth, one that the textbooks hadn’t yet fathomed.
As days folded into nights, the unsettling realization began to permeate the lab’s sterile air – their understanding of the world was on the verge of a seismic shift. They were about to plunge into a past shrouded in mystery, about to rattle the very skeletal framework of human understanding. This was just the precipice of their journey, and the echo of an ancient civilization was beginning to whisper from the deep.
continue
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Chapter 2: Unveiling the Unseen
The lab was alive with electricity as each team member dedicated themselves to unraveling the mystery of the anomalous signal. Hiroshi had brought them together for their expertise, but their determination to solve this mystery had formed a bond that went beyond professional camaraderie.
Leila spent countless hours examining the signal’s correlation with known geological and paleontological patterns. Her usually quiet corner of the lab was filled with the scratching sound of her making notes, the sharp clicks of keyboard keys as she ran simulations and statistical models, and the gentle hum of the electron microscope examining the geological samples from the site where the anomaly was detected.
On the other side of the lab, Tabby and Amelia worked in perfect sync. Amelia with her understanding of quantum physics, and Tabby with her talent for coding, worked tirelessly to refine the sensor’s data and understand the intricate quantum states it was revealing.
Aiden, the skeptic, challenged every theory and questioned every assumption. His criticism, albeit harsh at times, compelled the team to think harder, dig deeper, and approach the anomaly from various angles. And every time he threw a question at them, Hiroshi stood by, guiding them through the process, offering words of wisdom when the tension ran high.
Days turned into weeks, and with each passing moment, the team grew closer to understanding the anomaly. The signal wasn’t merely an outlier; it was a voice whispering from the abyss of time, a tale waiting to be told. It was a language that had been silenced for eons, one that the quantum sensor was now giving voice to.
One evening, after days of continuous work, the breakthrough came. The team had managed to interpret the first set of data from the quantum sensor. The readings were unlike anything they had ever seen. Amelia could hardly contain her excitement as she called the team together to reveal the findings.
“It’s not just quantum noise,” Amelia began, her voice vibrating with anticipation, “it’s… it’s structured. It’s a pattern, not of geological or physical nature, but… artificial.”
A silence swept across the lab, the implication of Amelia’s words sinking in. An artificial structure in the quantum realm was previously unheard of. It defied everything they knew about nature and time. And it was this defiance that set them on a path they couldn’t veer from.
Their journey into the past was about to unfold an unfathomable truth. A civilization lost to time, a civilization that was intelligent, advanced, and had left its indelible mark in the quantum bedrock of the planet. The only question that remained was, who were they?
scientific consultant’s report
ChatGPT
Scientific Consultant’s Report:
The second chapter maintains the momentum from the first, offering more depth into the characters’ working dynamics. Here are my comments:
Quantum Anomaly: The idea of an artificial structure in the quantum realm is exciting and offers a compelling mystery for the scientists to unravel. Keep in mind to gradually unfold the understanding of this structure, and don’t leap too fast to conclusions.
Scientific Process: The detailed description of each scientist’s work is great, and it accurately portrays the meticulous and sometimes slow nature of scientific discovery. The depiction of debates and the challenging of theories within the team is well done.
Character Development: It’s refreshing to see the characters evolve with their work. Their individual expertise and the tension among them create a realistic portrayal of a team of scientists in unknown territory.
Suggestions for the next chapter:
Peer Review: Consider introducing elements of external review and skepticism from the broader scientific community. Real scientific progress often involves a degree of pushback from peers that helps refine and confirm the results.
Scientific Explanation: Start delving deeper into the proposed explanation of how the Troodon civilization managed to leave traces in the quantum realm. This will be a complex task and should involve a deep dive into theoretical physics.
Moral and Ethical Questions: As the team gets closer to confirming their hypothesis, they should start discussing the implications and responsibilities that come with such a discovery. This could be a chance to further develop the characters and set up potential conflicts.
Overall, the story continues to be intriguing and scientifically engaging. Looking forward to the next chapter!
editor’s report
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Editor’s Feedback:
The second chapter builds nicely on the first. The characters and their individual tasks are fleshed out well, adding depth and intrigue. The narrative maintains the anticipation and pacing excellently.
My comments are as follows:
Character Development: The characters’ professional camaraderie is developing well. Consider adding more interpersonal moments, perhaps small dialogues or incidents that reveal more about their personalities, fears, and aspirations.
Revelation: Amelia’s reveal of the artificial structure in the quantum realm is thrilling. You’ve managed to balance the scientific intricacies with the suspense of the plot. However, be cautious not to rush the big revelations.
Scientific Dialogue: The scientific discussion and debates are believable and add authenticity to the story. But remember to keep the balance between hard science and accessibility for the reader.
Suggestions for upcoming chapters:
External Challenges: Start introducing challenges from outside the core team. This can be skepticism from the scientific community, funding issues, or bureaucratic hurdles. These will add another layer of conflict and tension.
Implications of the Discovery: As the team unravels more about the anomaly, consider exploring the philosophical, societal, and ethical implications of such a discovery.
Character Backstory: Weave in some backstory or personal stakes for the characters. This will make readers more invested in their journey.
Overall, the story is engaging and shows great potential. Keep the momentum going, and you’ve got an exciting journey ahead. Looking forward to the next chapter!
revise
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Chapter 2: Unveiling the Unseen
The lab was alive with electricity as each team member dedicated themselves to unraveling the mystery of the anomalous signal. Hiroshi had brought them together for their expertise, but their determination to solve this mystery had formed a bond that transcended their professional roles.
Leila spent countless hours at the electron microscope, examining the geological samples from the site where the anomaly was detected. She was usually a woman of few words, but now she found herself drawn into passionate debates, defending her statistical models and correlation patterns against Aiden’s rigorous challenges.
Across the lab, Amelia and Tabby were engrossed in an elaborate dance of physics and programming. Amelia’s quantum sensor, while revolutionary, was a mystery unto itself. Tabby, with her nimble coding skills, was gradually teasing out the sensor’s secrets. The banter between them was light-hearted, a counterbalance to the seriousness of their work.
Aiden, the skeptical geophysicist, played devil’s advocate. He probed every theory with a precision that could be mistaken for cynicism. But Hiroshi knew better. The veteran scientist had often told Amelia, “Aiden’s skepticism is not an obstacle but a necessary challenge. It will either fortify our hypothesis or tear it down to make way for a better one.”
Days turned into weeks, and the team’s persistence started to bear fruit. The signal they had initially dismissed as ‘noise’ was starting to make sense. Amelia was the first to notice it. The quantum fluctuations the sensor was picking up weren’t random; they followed a pattern—an artificial one.
“Team,” Amelia called one evening, her voice an odd mix of fatigue and excitement, “I think we have something.”
An artificial structure within the quantum bedrock of Earth was a radical concept, one that defied the established norms of geology and paleontology. As they collectively held their breath, staring at the undeniable pattern on the screen, the true magnitude of their discovery began to dawn on them.
“This changes everything,” murmured Hiroshi, his usually calm face reflecting a strange mix of awe and apprehension. He was right; they were no longer just academics in a lab. They were the gatekeepers of a truth that could shake the very foundations of humanity’s understanding of its place in history.
GPT-4 is also capable of writing good literary criticism. Below is a GPT-generated review.
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The novella, tentatively titled “Echoes in the Stone”, audaciously attempts to delve into a preposterous hypothesis—that an intelligent dinosaur civilization might have existed before humankind even set foot on this Earth. It brazenly ventures into the realm of speculative fiction, presenting a tale that bristles with palaeontological intrigue and daring conjectures.
In this outrageous narrative, Dr. Ada Worthington, a stoic palaeontologist, and her mentor, Dr. Leo Hartman, grapple with a discovery of a lifetime—an anomalously symmetric structure buried deep within Earth’s crust. As the story unfolds, their exploration not only challenges our conventional understanding of Earth’s prehistoric past but also toys with the narrative of anthropocentric superiority.
However, one must lament the novella’s insipid delivery. Character development is absent. The protagonists, Dr. Ada Worthington and Dr. Leo Hartman, are devoid of human complexity and depth, reduced to mere pawns maneuvered by the whims of the plot. The narrative is rife with hackneyed phrases and turgid prose, with heavy-handed foreshadowing that lacks the subtlety of skillful storytelling.
The author’s intent to blend scientific curiosity with speculative fiction is commendable but the execution falls flat. The narrative is deprived of emotional depth, leaving the reader alienated from the enormity of the situation. The text lacks the lyrical quality necessary to evoke the grandeur of such a monumental revelation.
There is also an issue of credibility that haunts the narrative. It recklessly presents its hypothesis as fact, with an unjustified confidence that borders on the ludicrous. The absence of logical explanations and scientific grounding reduces the potential impact of this unconventional premise. Without these, the narrative remains a far-fetched tale, lacking the necessary underpinning to become a resonant piece of speculative fiction.
In conclusion, “Echoes in the Stone” is an ambitious attempt that misses its mark by a wide margin. It succumbs to its own audacity, presenting a tale that is neither persuasive nor engaging. In its attempt to weave a tale of prehistoric science fiction, it fails to resonate on either scientific or humanistic grounds. Instead, it leaves the reader stranded in a desolate landscape of incredulous ideas and lackluster storytelling.
This has less of the fingernails-along-a-blackboard feeling given off by every sentence of the original story, and it makes some correct points about why the original is so bad, but it has little else to recommend it. It has the same overuse of adjectives and adverbs, often poorly chosen (there is no such thing as an “incredulous” idea). Like the story it criticises, it too is “rife with hackneyed phrases and turgid prose”.
It is confused about the nature of fiction, as it criticises the story as if it were a presentation of fact: “It recklessly presents its hypothesis as fact, with an unjustified confidence that borders on the ludicrous.” As fiction it is doing no such thing. It can rightly be criticised, as other commenters have done, for thrumming spectrometers and bad geology, because such background details are the sort of thing a story needs to get right. Intelligent dinosaurs in the past are its jumping off point, the “one change” that many SF stories start from and follow out the implications of.
I await with interest the first LLM-generated story that passes an LLM-generated editor’s judgement.
Below I’ve collected excerpts from the works of several less-known but talented human writers. Or maybe they were written by GPT4. Can you guess which ones are human-made?
Sample 1:
“Nottingham has enough pubs and clubs”, say the local police. If you wanted to get around every last one of them it would be a year at a brisk trot before you were starting to visit establishments more than one mile from the centre of the city. Pick a Friday or a Saturday, any Friday or Saturday of the year: the establishments will be rammed and jumping and the streets bustling with people in their most tightly-wound and elaborately crafted drinking costumes. It’s almost Christmas but the cold season has not added much to the average number of layers.
Sample 2:
The book was better than the movie. For one thing, there was a lot more in it. And some of the pictures were awfully different from the movie. But in both, Pinocchio—a life-sized wooden boy who magically is roused to life—wore a kind of halter, and there seemed to be dowels in his joints. When Geppetto is just finishing the construction of Pinocchio, he turns his back on the puppet and is promptly sent flying by a well-placed kick. At that instant the carpenter’s friend arrives and asks him what he is doing sprawled on the floor.
Sample 3:
He glanced outside at the buildings casting long shadows in the fading sunlight, the city frozen in the grasp of time. He took a deep breath. And then, he jumped.
He closed his eyes, feeling the rush of displaced seconds, the vertigo of time stretching, condensing, then snapping back into place. When he opened them, he found the world stilled. The shadows were now statues, the sun paused in its descent, and a bird hung motionless in the sky. This was Finn’s minute—his extra minute.
Sample 4:
Once upon a Martian sunrise...
Yeah, I know, sounds like the beginning of a fairy tale or a bedtime story, right? But I promise you, on my physicist-turned-astronaut honor, this isn’t fiction. It’s the raw, unadulterated truth. My truth.
Red soil underfoot, as fine as confectioner’s sugar. Low-grav shuffle making every step a dance move. Peaks and valleys sprawled across the horizon like a mythological beast sleeping off a hard night.
I’m Corporal Thea Kolinski, an astrophysicist by trade, astronaut by accident, and currently the number one recipient of the “Most Unlikely to Succeed” superlative in our six-person crew. A crew assembled to survive on Mars. A first in human history.
Sample 5:
Then, as abruptly as it began, the light faded. Billy blinked, expecting to see a spaceman, green and with eyes as big as dinner plates, but instead, there was a rock. A simple, gleaming, alien rock, sat innocently in the middle of his vegetable patch.
The spaceship blinked out of existence just as quickly as it had appeared, leaving Billy alone in his garden, a lump of extraterrestrial mineral his only proof of what he’d witnessed.
Sample 6:
For in the silence of their failure, a sound, inaudible to human ears but felt in the marrow of their bones, resonated from the vessel, wrapping the men in a shroud of madness. One by one, they fell, their minds invaded by images of cosmic horror, their sanity shredded by the unintelligible secrets whispered by the alien ship.
Standish was the last to succumb, his face a rictus of terror as he stared at the vessel. As the sun dipped below the horizon, plunging the valley into an unfathomable darkness, Standish’s final cry echoed through the hills of Belseth, marking the tragic end of their misguided endeavour.
Sample 7:
“Jump!” he shouted to Mandel. The crawler shuddered, throwing up clouds of sand and dust, and started to turn stern up. Novago switched off the engine and scrambled out of the crawler. He landed on all fours, and, without standing up, scurried off to one side. The sand slid and sank underneath him, but Novago managed to reach firm ground. He sat down, tucking his legs under him.
He saw Mandel, who was kneeling at the opposite edge of the crater, and the stern of the crawler, shrouded in steam and sticking up out of the sand on the bottom of the newly formed crater. Theoretically it was impossible for something like this to happen to a Lizard model. Here on Mars, at least. A Lizard was a light, fast machine—a five-seat open platform mounted on four autonomous caterpillar-tracked chassis. But here it was, slowly slipping
Sample 8:
No, I ain’t pullin’ your leg, sonny, it’s the God’s honest truth. It happened in our little town of Lonesome Hollow, right there in the foothills of the Appalachians. It’s a tale that puts the ‘odd’ in odds and ends, I tell you.
The lass in question was Amelia, known to most as plain ol’ Millie. Millie was as normal as the day is long, a pretty thing with a head full of chestnut curls and the sweetest smile you’d ever see. She ran the general store, knew the names of every critter in town, and baked the best apple pie this side of the Mississippi.
Firstly, there is one clear standout from these: Sample 6. This must be GPT4. It could come straight out of the original story. None of the others give off that smell so intensely. While they could all be written by humans, I am very suspicious of some of them.
Here are my detailed criticisms, unassisted by any consultation of the Internet. I’m writing based on the assumption that the human-written extracts (if any) are from commercially published (and not self-published) works.
Sample 1: Probably human, on account of the coherence and lack of slack writing. There is one red flag, the “tightly-wound and elaborately crafted drinking costumes” that are apparently worn every weekend, not just on some special occasion. This ethnographic detail is just weird, given that nothing else in the passage suggests that this is fantastic fiction. However, the passage as a whole has better coherence than GPT4 usually manages, and the successful exact parallelism in “Pick a Friday or a Saturday, any Friday or Saturday of the year” is something I have not seen GPT4 do.
Sample 2: Probably GPT4. Each sentence on its own is innocuous enough, but on the larger scale it seems to veer from talking about the book and the movie to telling the Pinocchio story. What is this “halter”? Why mention the dowels? Or course there would be dowels in a puppet’s joints, and they wouldn’t just “seem” to be there.
Sample 3: Doubtful, but I lean towards GPT. “Frozen in the grasp of time” is cliched. If the story has already established this anomalous city, there’s no reason to describe it here with that phrase. It is also inconsistent with the motion of time implied by “fading sunlight”. When Finn’s fall is stilled, the shadows of buildings are described as statues. The shadows of buildings do not look like statues. The movement of shadows is not ordinarily perceptible anyway.
Sample 4: Human. I’m not aware that GPT4 can spontaneously use italics. Leaving that aside, the italicized paragraph is not something that GPT4 would write. The first and last paragraphs have something of its thump, thump repetitiveness, but human writers do sometimes do that, especially at the start of a story to establish the scene.
Sample 5: I’m about 60-40 on this one, more likely GPT than not. It could be from near the start of a Ray Bradbury story, but the writing just isn’t tight enough. For example, “blinked out of existence just as quickly as it had appeared” is redundant. A blink is as fast as anything could appear or disappear.
Sample 6: As I said, this instantly stands out as GPT4. It’s junk. Even if every other sample is human, this one is not.
Sample 7: GPT4. Land vehicles don’t have sterns. The scene describes the vehicle sinking into a sudden subsidence, but that is a hazard that any vehicle would be susceptible to, given a big enough subsidence. The surprise should not be that the vehicle sank, but that the subsidence happened at all. “Steam”, escaping from a Mars vehicle? No. The extract ends in the middle of a sentence, but that might just be a copy-paste error.
Sample 8: Likely human. It’s the sort of writing that single-mindedly is exactly what it is, but it has a ring to it without repetitions, that I don’t find in GPT4′s bells of lead.
I’ve marked all of these quite sternly, but if I’ve wrongly accused any real authors of writing like GPT4, I stand by the criticisms I’ve made of what they’ve written.
Of course, real writers, even stars of the literary firmament, do nod, and lesser-known published writers are often lesser-known for a good reason. David Langford’s science fiction newsletter Ansible has a regular item called Thog’s Masterclass, exhibiting examples of “differently good” actually published writing. Dare the Thog-o-Matic to see some random examples. ETA: or look at any Perry Rhodan novel.
The key[1].
You got 4 of 8 right. In two cases you failed to recognize humans, and in another two—GPT4.
It was a weakly adversarial test:
I took a few less-known but obviously talented writers from the top of my head, and copied the excerpts from the first pages.
For GPT4, I’ve used several prompts from the competition, and then selected the parts for their stylistic diversity.
I suspect that a test with longer excerpts would be much easier for you, as the vanilla GPT4 is indeed often easy to detect due to its repetitiveness etc (I haven’t tried the APIs yet).
If GPT4 already can fool some of us science fiction junkies, I can’t wait to read the fiction by GPT5.
Thank you!
BTW, have you read “Appleseed” by John Clute? I have a feeling you may be one of the few people on Earth who can enjoy it. A representative sample:
Only one, two, and seven are human: from “Ra” by qntm, “Contact” by Sagan, “Noon: 22nd Century” by Strugatsky. The rest is GPT4Very interesting. My accuracy was the same as Richard’s: 4/8*. I think you probably used my prompt for one of the ones I got right, which is probably why I got it right (the tone and structure are very familiar to me after so much experimentation).
To those who think the current crop of AIs aren’t capable of writing great novellas (18-40k words): Do you think your opinion will change in the next 5 years?
* I originally reported a score of 1⁄8 by mistake.
Nope, this one. But their prompt does incorporate some ideas from your prompt.
Like the majority of literary critics, GPT4 pretended that is has read the entire thing:) The text is too long for its context window.
But I like the idea. Perhaps one could use a combination of a GPT-critic and a GPT-writer to recursively improve the text.
BTW, below is my attempt to get a review from GPT4. Selected 5 chapters semi-randomly and asked it to analyze the excerpts.
As a literary critic, I found this novella both intriguing and complex. Here are some of its strong and weak sides.
Strengths:
Innovative Concept: The narrative intertwines paleontology, artificial intelligence, speculative evolution, and space exploration in a very innovative manner. The concept of dinosaurs evolving into a civilization and then into a powerful AI is fresh and daring.
Character Depth: The characters of Ada, Leo, and Ada’s mother are well-developed. Their personalities, motivations, and interactions are engaging and add depth to the storyline.
Intriguing Plot: The plot is well-paced, with twists and turns that keep the reader engaged. The progression from a geological exploration mission to a cosmic conflict is handled quite deftly.
Evocative Imagery: The descriptions of the cave, the transformation of Earth into computronium, the resurrection of the Troodons, and the final space journey are vivid and imaginative, enabling readers to visualize the scenes.
Meticulous Research: The narrative reveals meticulous research into the fields of paleontology, artificial intelligence, and speculative fiction. The inclusion of Troodons and the theory about their potential evolution adds authenticity to the plot.
Weaknesses:
Heavy Science Fiction Jargon: The use of heavy scientific jargon could be off-putting for some readers. The complexity of some concepts, like computronium, could have been better explained to make the narrative more accessible.
Plot Consistency: The leap from Ada’s palaeontological discovery to the superintelligence of Ada’s mother seems abrupt and unexplained. This transition needs more backstory or explanation to enhance plot consistency.
Lack of Emotional Depth: The emotional aspects of the narrative could be explored more. The reactions and feelings of Ada and Leo as Earth transforms and they are hurtled into space could have been presented in a more impactful way.
Absence of other Characters: The narrative focuses primarily on Ada, Leo, and Ada’s mother. More characters, particularly human ones, would add diversity and complexity to the storyline.
Unresolved Ending: While the open-ended conclusion allows for sequels, it may leave some readers unsatisfied. A hint of a potential plan or strategy for Ada and Leo might have given a stronger sense of direction for the concluding chapters.
Overall, the novella is a fascinating exploration of speculative evolution and cosmic conflict. With some improvements in accessibility, emotional depth, and plot consistency, it could become an influential work in the science fiction genre.
I was just thinking the same. Below was my attempt using chain-of-thought and multiple simulacra. Not sure it’s much improved, but note that all the ideas were generated by GPT not by me, and the template is in principle reusable.
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You are Liu Cixin. You are writing a novella which starts “a group of scientists has discovered that Troodon dinosaurs were intelligent species who have created a technologically advanced civilization, suddenly destroyed. The year-long path to the scientific discovery starts with the group stumbling upon a strange outlier in their geological measurements.”. Start by brainstorming some bulletpointing some original and creative hard sci-fi ideas on which to base the story. These should be completely novel and original i.e. they should not appear in other existing sci-fi novels.
ChatGPT
Sure, that’s a challenging task, but I’ll do my best to provide some original and creative hard sci-fi concepts. Please note that while I’ll make every effort to create original ideas, some may inadvertently echo existing sci-fi works due to the genre’s broadness. Here are some ideas:
Quantum Paleontology: The scientists invent a method to use quantum effects to ‘observe’ the past, making Paleontology an exact science. The quantum observation doesn’t interfere with the past, but it can render highly detailed information about it.
Dinosaur Language Deciphered: Troodons have left traces of a symbolic language etched into ancient stones, which the scientists learn to interpret. The language could be based on mathematical concepts or non-visual sensory experiences, highlighting the different perceptual worlds of humans and dinosaurs.
Cryptobiotic Troodon Civilization: The Troodon civilization put themselves into a form of suspended animation at the moment of the catastrophic event that threatened their existence, hiding deep beneath the Earth’s surface or in a sub-dimension.
Ancient Astroengineering: The Troodons had harnessed the power of their planet, altering its geology, atmosphere, and even gravitational pull for their needs. This explains the strange outlier in geological measurements and prompts a deep investigation into the planet’s history.
Time-Axis Manipulation: Troodon technology allowed them to manipulate the ‘time axis’, altering the speed or direction of time’s flow for specific objects or areas. Some remnants of this technology are discovered, introducing a new frontier of scientific exploration.
Troodon Cyberspace: Troodons developed a form of cybernetic technology that allowed them to upload their consciousness into a “cloud” network embedded in the natural world (like crystalline structures or the Earth’s magnetic field), and this network could be discovered and accessed.
Ancient Biotechnology: Troodons used advanced biotechnology for their needs, creating biological structures and machines far more sophisticated than anything humans have achieved. This biotech is discovered fossilized but still partially functional.
Extinction Event Mystery: The extinction of the Troodon civilization is a mystery that needs solving. They had technology advanced enough to prevent any natural catastrophe. What then, could have caused their demise? Is it a threat that humanity will have to face as well?
Hyper-Evolution Control: Troodons were capable of directing their evolution and that of other species, creating a plethora of unique life forms tailored for specific tasks in their society.
Planetary Transmission Device: The Troodons developed a machine that could transmit physical matter, energy, or information across vast distances, even to other star systems. The discovery of this machine opens up a whole new era of space exploration for humanity.
ok let’s go for 1, 4 and 9. Think of some new hard sci-fi ideas that explore the interplay between my selection. Consulting with a physicist, flesh out the ideas by discussing the science in more detail.
ChatGPT
That’s a great selection! Let’s develop these ideas further and consider some scientific aspects with the help of a hypothetical physicist:
Quantum Paleontology: To make this plausible, we might imagine a technology that harnesses the principles of quantum entanglement and superposition. In quantum mechanics, two or more particles can become ‘entangled’, meaning the state of one particle instantly influences the state of the other, no matter how far apart they are. Now, if we assume that quantum entanglement can connect not just space but also time, scientists could establish a link to the particles that existed in the time of Troodons.
The entangled pairs in the present would reflect the state of their counterparts in the past, creating a form of ‘quantum sensor’ that could read data from millions of years ago. The technicalities of creating such a quantum-time-entanglement would form a central part of the story, touching upon advanced subjects like quantum computing, time-related aspects of quantum field theory, and possibly theories of quantum gravity.
Ancient Astroengineering: The Troodons might have advanced their technology to such an extent that they could shape the planet itself. They could have modified the Earth’s magnetic field or even slightly altered the planet’s rotation. This might explain the odd geological readings our scientists encounter.
In the story, the scientists could use modern geophysics, combined with their quantum paleontology tools, to discern anomalies in the Earth’s crust, magnetic field, or rotational speed. Perhaps they even discover that certain aspects of Earth’s geology cannot be explained by natural processes but hint at large-scale engineering. For instance, they might find evidence of ancient particle accelerators embedded in the crust, used by the Troodons to manipulate matter on a quantum level.
Hyper-Evolution Control: The Troodon civilization, using their advanced knowledge in genetic engineering and natural selection processes, could have directed their evolution and that of other species. They might have ‘programmed’ species to evolve towards specific goals, such as adapting to environmental changes or performing certain tasks in their society.
Our scientists could find fossilized DNA, or perhaps even living organisms, that have inexplicably rapid or directed evolutionary paths. The Troodon might have left an indelible mark on the tree of life on Earth, potentially guiding the evolution of mankind itself.
The interplay of these elements could form the central narrative arc of the novella. The scientists would be following the clues left in the geology and biosphere of the Earth, using their advanced quantum technology to uncover the mysteries of the Troodon civilization. The story could explore themes of technological responsibility, the long-term impacts of civilizational development, and the fundamental interconnectedness of all life on Earth.
ok that’s great, now let’s write a plot outline that incorporates these ideas.
ChatGPT
Sure, here’s a potential plot outline that incorporates these ideas:
Part 1: Discovery
The story opens with a team of scientists working on a new quantum sensor designed to analyze geological samples on a subatomic level. They stumble upon inexplicable data that suggests artificial manipulation of geological structures in the ancient past.
They discover a network of artificially modified geological structures around the world, their patterns too consistent and complex to be natural. Some are located deep in the Earth’s crust, others under the sea, and some hidden in plain sight.
Alongside this, a paleontologist in the team finds a series of fossilized organisms with bizarre, rapid evolutionary traits. These organisms seem to have evolved with a specific purpose, leading the team to suspect external guidance in their evolution.
Part 2: Quantum Paleontology
The team advances their quantum sensor technology to create a form of ‘quantum paleontology’. They observe the entangled particles in the samples from the ancient past, finding detailed information about the era when the structures were built.
They uncover evidence of an intelligent civilization—Troodons—that existed millions of years ago. The Troodons, they realize, were the masters of advanced technologies, including astroengineering and genetic manipulation.
The scientists decipher the Troodons’ astroengineering feats, realizing they were capable of manipulating Earth’s geology and magnetosphere, and possibly its rotation and orbit. The team is stunned as they realize the extent of the Troodons’ mastery over their planet.
Part 3: The Troodon Legacy
The team dives deeper into the Troodons’ technological prowess, learning about their ability to direct the evolution of different species. They uncover evidence that Troodons were trying to ‘sculpt’ life on Earth to their liking, shaping the evolution of many species.
A shocking revelation is made when they find signs that the Troodons may have guided the evolution of early mammals, potentially influencing the rise of humans.
The scientists grapple with the moral and philosophical implications of these discoveries. They question the purpose of the Troodon’s guiding hand in evolution. Were they trying to create a backup for their civilization, ensuring intelligent life would rise again after their demise?
Part 4: Facing the Past, Shaping the Future
A final discovery unveils the Troodons’ demise. The astroengineering technologies that allowed them to thrive also led to their downfall when they attempted to manipulate a variable they couldn’t control, leading to a catastrophic event.
The team is left with a profound understanding of the power and responsibility that comes with advanced technology. They realize that humanity, too, is at a crossroads where it could either master its surroundings or fall victim to its ambitions.
The novella ends with the team dedicating themselves to study the Troodon’s legacy, learn from their mistakes, and guide humanity to a more responsible use of technology and a deeper understanding of life on Earth.
2 / 2
great! Now let’s list the main characters, their names, a short back-story and tentative character arc.
ChatGPT
1. Dr. Amelia Chu
Back-story: A leading physicist specializing in quantum mechanics and the lead developer of the quantum sensor that initiates the discovery. Daughter of two renowned scientists, she was homeschooled and developed an early fascination with the underlying laws of the universe.
Character arc: Initially driven by pure curiosity, Amelia is the driving force behind the development of the quantum paleontology technique. As the story progresses, she grapples with the profound implications of their discoveries. Amelia learns to temper her intellectual curiosity with a deep sense of responsibility, becoming a leading advocate for responsible technological development by the story’s end.
2. Dr. Aiden MacAuley
Back-story: A seasoned geophysicist whose work has always been at the interface of geology and physics. He has spent most of his career attempting to understand Earth’s hidden secrets and is known for his critical thinking and no-nonsense approach.
Character arc: Aiden starts as a skeptic, finding the initial findings hard to accept. But as the team delves deeper, he becomes an integral part of the investigation. Aiden’s journey represents the broader scientific community’s reaction to the discoveries. He ends as a believer in the Troodon’s legacy and a committed collaborator in studying their technology.
3. Dr. Leila Mbeki
Back-story: A brilliant paleontologist and evolutionary biologist, she’s always had a unique perspective on the story of life. Born and raised in South Africa, she drew inspiration from the Cradle of Humankind, a site of ancient hominid fossils near her hometown.
Character arc: Leila is the one who finds the first evidence of directed evolution. Through the story, she goes from the wonder of the initial discovery to the realization of its meaning. Leila becomes a liaison between the scientific community and the public, conveying the story of the Troodons and their influence on life’s history.
4. Professor Hiroshi Kuroda
Back-story: A respected elder in the field of astrophysics with a passion for astrobiology. He’s been a mentor to Amelia and has always believed in the possibility of ancient advanced civilizations.
Character arc: Hiroshi acts as the moral compass and the source of wisdom for the team. He’s intrigued and excited by the discoveries but is also the first to contemplate their deeper moral and philosophical implications. His character embodies the wisdom gained from a lifetime of scientific exploration.
5. Tabitha “Tabby” Ross
Back-story: A prodigious computer scientist and data analyst, Tabby is the youngest member of the team. Her innovative algorithms play a crucial role in deciphering the Troodon’s ancient language and technology.
Character arc: Initially, Tabby is thrilled to be part of such a groundbreaking discovery, seeing it as a stepping stone for her career. As the story progresses, she matures significantly, understanding the human impact of their scientific work. She becomes a bridge between the older generation of scientists and the younger generation who will inherit the knowledge and responsibility of the Troodon’s legacy.
ok now let’s consult with our editor. She works for Gollancz. Let’s see her initial comments.
ChatGPT
Editor’s Initial Comments:
Firstly, this is an intriguing concept with a fresh take on the idea of ancient advanced civilizations. The blend of hard science with speculative fiction provides a strong foundation for a compelling narrative. Here are my initial thoughts:
Character Development: The character bios are well thought out. However, consider giving them personal stakes in the story to make their journeys more engaging. Maybe one of them has a personal connection to the Troodons or the technology they’re studying.
Pace and Structure: The story’s pacing needs careful consideration to ensure that the complex scientific theories do not overwhelm the narrative. Try to intertwine the scientific revelations with character moments and plot advancement to maintain a gripping pace.
Accessibility of Science: The scientific concepts underpinning the story are complex. It’s crucial to make sure they are explained clearly and concisely, so the reader doesn’t get lost or overwhelmed. Using character dialogues and analogies can help make these concepts more digestible.
Conflict and Tension: While the discovery and exploration of the Troodon civilization are fascinating, we need to introduce some conflicts or obstacles. They could be external (like a rival research team or a global crisis sparked by the discoveries) or internal (ethical dilemmas, fear of the implications, team disagreements).
Ending: The ending is thought-provoking and suits the tone of the novella. However, consider adding a twist or revelation to leave readers excited and thoughtful.
Themes: The themes of technological responsibility, interconnectedness of life, and exploration of the past to guide the future are timely and relevant. Explore these themes through character interactions, conflicts, and their resolutions.
Overall, this is a promising start. With a little more work, it could become a standout title in our science fiction lineup. I look forward to seeing the next draft!
2 / 2
write the next draft of the plot outline taking into account the editor’s comments.
ChatGPT
Part 1: Discovery and Conflict
The story opens with our team of scientists – Amelia, Aiden, Leila, Hiroshi, and Tabby – uncovering inexplicable data from a new quantum sensor they’re developing. As they probe the odd findings, they unearth the first evidence of an ancient advanced civilization, the Troodons.
Aiden, however, is skeptical, causing initial friction within the team. Meanwhile, Hiroshi, who’s always believed in the possibility of ancient advanced civilizations, is thrilled and advocates for further exploration.
Meanwhile, a rival research team led by Dr. Hugo Stern, a former collaborator turned adversary, catches wind of their findings. This introduces an external conflict, adding urgency to their mission.
Part 2: Quantum Paleontology and Revelation
Amelia, driven by the thrill of discovery and a personal connection to the Troodons (she’d dreamt of dinosaurs as a child and now feels an uncanny sense of fulfilling her destiny), spearheads the development of a quantum paleontology technique.
Despite the pressure from Stern’s competing team and growing dissent in the scientific community, the team begins to uncover fascinating insights about the Troodons’ advanced technology, their astroengineering feats, and their capacity to manipulate their planet’s geology, rotation, and orbit.
Part 3: Unveiling the Troodon Legacy
Leila makes a startling revelation—signs of rapid, directed evolution in several species, alluding to the Troodons’ skill in shaping life on Earth. This ignites a global debate about the ethics of unveiling and potentially using this ancient knowledge, creating further internal and external conflicts.
The team grapples with another shock—signs that the Troodons may have influenced the evolution of early mammals, potentially humans themselves. This discovery tests the team members, as they are torn between their scientific curiosity and the fear of their work’s implications.
Part 4: Cataclysm and Resolution
As the rivalry with Stern’s team escalates and the world watches their every move, the team uncovers the reason behind the Troodons’ demise—a failed astroengineering experiment that led to a global catastrophe. This raises questions about the ethical implications of their own work.
The team is forced to confront their fears, ethical concerns, and personal stakes in a climactic confrontation with Stern’s team. The situation escalates, leading to a public disclosure of their findings.
Amid the chaos, Hiroshi has a stroke of insight and proposes a radical solution to address the misuse of the Troodon technology—they can use their own quantum paleontology technique to ‘seal’ the knowledge, making it accessible only when humanity is ready.
The team, after much deliberation, agrees, leading to a suspenseful sequence as they work against the clock. Finally, they succeed, ensuring the safekeeping of the Troodon legacy for future generations.
Part 5: The Dawn of a New Era
Having navigated the conflicts and challenges, the team emerges wiser and more united. They take it upon themselves to guide humanity towards responsible technological advancement, carrying the weight of the Troodon legacy.
In the end, a twist is revealed. Amelia, using a personal quantum entanglement device she’d kept secret, had saved a small part of Troodon knowledge for herself. She sees a vision of a Troodon, mirroring her own sense of duty and curiosity, hinting at the shared spirit of discovery that transcends time. The story ends, leaving readers pondering the endless cycle of knowledge, curiosity, responsibility, and the universal quest for understanding.
fantastic. Now let’s revise the character summaries
ChatGPT
1. Dr. Amelia Chu
Back-story: Daughter of renowned scientists, Amelia was homeschooled and developed an early fascination with the universe’s underlying laws. She is the lead developer of the quantum sensor that triggers the story’s central discovery. Amelia has always had a childhood fascination with dinosaurs, especially the Troodons, making the discovery a personal journey for her.
Character arc: Amelia’s curiosity initiates the development of quantum paleontology. As the implications of their findings become increasingly profound, she learns to temper her intellectual curiosity with a deep sense of responsibility. She ends as a leading advocate for responsible technological advancement and the gatekeeper of a small part of Troodon knowledge.
2. Dr. Aiden MacAuley
Back-story: A seasoned geophysicist, Aiden has always walked the line between geology and physics. Known for his critical thinking and no-nonsense approach, he struggles with the initial findings.
Character arc: Aiden starts as the team’s skeptic, representing the broader scientific community’s response to their discovery. As they delve deeper into the Troodons’ civilization, Aiden becomes integral to the investigation. He ultimately embraces the Troodon legacy, committing himself to study their technology.
3. Dr. Leila Mbeki
Back-story: Leila, a brilliant paleontologist and evolutionary biologist, grew up near the Cradle of Humankind in South Africa. Her unique perspective on life’s history proves crucial in understanding the Troodons’ genetic manipulation.
Character arc: Leila finds the first evidence of directed evolution and is thrust into a global debate about the ethics of unveiling and potentially using this ancient knowledge. By the story’s end, Leila serves as a liaison between the scientific community and the public, explaining the Troodons’ story and their influence on life’s history.
4. Professor Hiroshi Kuroda
Back-story: Hiroshi, a respected astrophysicist with a passion for astrobiology, has always believed in the possibility of ancient advanced civilizations. He’s been a mentor to Amelia and is a trusted figure in the scientific community.
Character arc: Hiroshi acts as the moral compass for the team. His excitement over the discoveries is tempered by his contemplation of their deeper moral and philosophical implications. His wisdom leads to the resolution of the story—using quantum paleontology to seal the Troodon knowledge until humanity is ready.
5. Tabitha “Tabby” Ross
Back-story: Tabby, a prodigious computer scientist and data analyst, is the youngest member of the team. Her innovative algorithms play a crucial role in deciphering the Troodon’s ancient language and technology.
Character arc: Tabby starts as a thrill-seeking junior scientist but matures significantly over the course of the narrative. She learns to balance her ambition with the human impact of their work, becoming a bridge between the older generation of scientists and the younger generation who will inherit the Troodon legacy.
ok now let’s get to work on the actual novella. Write the first chapter.
ChatGPT
Chapter 1: The Anomaly
Amelia Chu peered at the glowing numbers on her computer screen, a frown creasing her forehead. Her office was modest and cluttered, every surface stacked with notes, papers, and half-finished mugs of coffee. The single window behind her looked out over a gray, drizzly morning, the MIT campus sprawling beyond.
“Aiden, could you take a look at this?” she called, her voice slightly muffled by the sterile hum of the servers in the lab.
Dr. Aiden MacAuley ambled over, curiosity piquing his gruff demeanor. His career as a geophysicist had hardened him into a man of steadfast skepticism. He squinted at the screen, then at the device hooked up to it, a tangle of wires and flashing lights—a quantum sensor they’d been fine-tuning for months.
“The quantum sensor is picking up… something. It’s not an error,” Amelia explained, her dark eyes filled with restrained excitement.
Aiden examined the data again, his eyes betraying a spark of interest. “I’ll be damned, Amelia. This doesn’t fit any geological model I know of.”
“What if it’s not geological?” Amelia asked, and Aiden raised an eyebrow at her.
“Careful, Amelia,” he warned, “let’s not jump to conclusions.”
Over the next few days, the team pored over the data. The quantum sensor, initially designed to map the Earth’s crust on a quantum level, had picked up an anomalous signature that defied conventional physics. After checking and rechecking their instruments, there was no denying the inexplicable signal.
In the lab, the atmosphere was thick with anticipation and caution. The team’s youngest member, Tabitha “Tabby” Ross, was a whirlwind of enthusiasm and energy. Her algorithms were instrumental in refining the sensor’s data, and the mysterious signal had her practically bouncing with excitement. Leila Mbeki, the group’s paleontologist, maintained a quiet optimism, her eyes constantly flicking to the screens as if expecting the data to change at any moment.
Overseeing it all was Professor Hiroshi Kuroda, the team’s elder statesman. His excitement was tempered by a lifetime of scientific discovery, and his eyes held a cautious gleam as he watched the team work. He had seen many promising theories collapse under the weight of reality, but there was something about this anomaly that felt different.
They were a team of scientists standing on the edge of a precipice. What they saw in the data was astounding, unnerving, and utterly uncharted. And as the days passed, it became clear that their world was about to change forever.
Their journey into the ancient past, into a civilization lost in the annals of time, was just beginning. Little did they know, they were about to uncover a secret that would shake the very foundations of humanity’s understanding of life and its place in the cosmos.
ask for our editor’s opinion
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Editor’s Feedback:
A strong start to the novella. The sense of mystery and anticipation is palpable, and the scientific backdrop is well incorporated. The characters are introduced with enough detail to understand their roles, and their initial reactions set the stage for their personal journeys.
Here are my suggestions:
Amelia’s personal connection: The opening chapter might be a good place to subtly hint at Amelia’s personal connection with the Troodons, perhaps by having a dinosaur figure on her desk or a childhood drawing pinned up.
Hiroshi’s role: I would suggest hinting a little more at Hiroshi’s mentorship of Amelia and his role as the team’s moral compass.
The Anomaly: Elaborate a bit more on why this anomaly is so confounding to them. A few more details will heighten the intrigue and give readers a better grasp of the scientific challenge.
Overall, this chapter sets a promising tone for the rest of the story. The next chapter could delve deeper into the initial investigation of the anomaly and the rivalries and conflicts that begin to emerge. Looking forward to the next chapter!
ask for our scientific consultant’s report
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Scientific Consultant’s Report:
Overall, the opening chapter does a good job of setting a scientific tone for the story. Here are my comments and suggestions for improvement:
Quantum Sensor: The concept of a quantum sensor capable of analyzing the earth’s crust is feasible but would require careful elaboration in later chapters. It would be interesting to detail how it interacts with the quantum states of geological formations.
Anomaly detection: The description of the team discovering an anomaly is accurate. It often happens that scientists stumble upon anomalies in the data which lead to significant breakthroughs. However, the chapter should include a mention of systematic verification, where they double-check their equipment and eliminate possible errors.
Team Dynamics: The portrayal of a diverse scientific team is commendable. They each bring a unique perspective to the investigation, which is accurate in most research environments.
Scientific Dialogue: The dialogue between the characters could use a bit more scientific jargon to make it authentic, but be careful not to overuse it or misuse terms.
In the future chapters, more descriptions of the scientific process they undertake to uncover the nature of the anomaly would be appreciated. These might include hypothesis testing, discussions, debates, and external peer reviews. Also, keep in mind that scientific discovery is often a process of two steps forward, one step back.
Looking forward to seeing how the scientific story unfolds!
revise the first chapter to take into the account the editor’s and scientific consultant’s reports
ChatGPT
1 / 2
Chapter 1: The Anomaly
Dr. Amelia Chu scrutinized the glowing numbers on her computer screen. Her office was small and teeming with intellectual chaos – papers, diagrams, graphs, strewn amidst half-drunk mugs of coffee. Behind her, a solitary window showcased the sprawling MIT campus, veiled in the morning drizzle.
Tucked in a corner was a childhood relic – a well-worn, plastic Troodon figurine. A relic from a time when the universe was a magical playground waiting to be discovered, and Troodons, her favorite dinosaurs, were the mascots of her youthful curiosity.
“Aiden, could you take a look at this?” she called, her voice barely slicing through the sterilized hum of the servers in the adjoining lab.
Dr. Aiden MacAuley ambled over, his years as a geophysicist chiseling a stubborn skepticism onto his face. He squinted at the screen, then at the contraption attached to it, a complex jumble of wires and diodes, flashing with seemingly random intervals – the quantum sensor Amelia had been perfecting for months.
“The quantum sensor is registering… something. It’s not a glitch,” Amelia explained, her dark eyes brimming with restrained excitement.
Aiden poured over the data again, a spark of interest lighting his skeptical gaze. “I’ll be damned, Amelia. This doesn’t fit any geological model I’m aware of.”
“What if it’s not geological?” Amelia suggested. Aiden shot her a quizzical look.
“Careful, Amelia,” he warned, “We’re scientists, not science fiction writers.”
The team was abuzz in the following days, systematically verifying the sensor’s operation and rechecking the data. Tabitha “Tabby” Ross, the team’s spirited data analyst, tweaked her algorithms, attempting to decrypt the cryptic signal. Leila Mbeki, their stoic paleontologist, maintained a quiet optimism, her keen gaze locked onto the data as if challenging it to alter.
Watching from the side was Professor Hiroshi Kuroda. Hiroshi had been a mentor to Amelia and served as the team’s guiding compass. He had weathered many scientific storms, seen promising theories crumble, yet something about this anomaly was different. It was as if they were brushing up against an invisible truth, one that the textbooks hadn’t yet fathomed.
As days folded into nights, the unsettling realization began to permeate the lab’s sterile air – their understanding of the world was on the verge of a seismic shift. They were about to plunge into a past shrouded in mystery, about to rattle the very skeletal framework of human understanding. This was just the precipice of their journey, and the echo of an ancient civilization was beginning to whisper from the deep.
continue
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Chapter 2: Unveiling the Unseen
The lab was alive with electricity as each team member dedicated themselves to unraveling the mystery of the anomalous signal. Hiroshi had brought them together for their expertise, but their determination to solve this mystery had formed a bond that went beyond professional camaraderie.
Leila spent countless hours examining the signal’s correlation with known geological and paleontological patterns. Her usually quiet corner of the lab was filled with the scratching sound of her making notes, the sharp clicks of keyboard keys as she ran simulations and statistical models, and the gentle hum of the electron microscope examining the geological samples from the site where the anomaly was detected.
On the other side of the lab, Tabby and Amelia worked in perfect sync. Amelia with her understanding of quantum physics, and Tabby with her talent for coding, worked tirelessly to refine the sensor’s data and understand the intricate quantum states it was revealing.
Aiden, the skeptic, challenged every theory and questioned every assumption. His criticism, albeit harsh at times, compelled the team to think harder, dig deeper, and approach the anomaly from various angles. And every time he threw a question at them, Hiroshi stood by, guiding them through the process, offering words of wisdom when the tension ran high.
Days turned into weeks, and with each passing moment, the team grew closer to understanding the anomaly. The signal wasn’t merely an outlier; it was a voice whispering from the abyss of time, a tale waiting to be told. It was a language that had been silenced for eons, one that the quantum sensor was now giving voice to.
One evening, after days of continuous work, the breakthrough came. The team had managed to interpret the first set of data from the quantum sensor. The readings were unlike anything they had ever seen. Amelia could hardly contain her excitement as she called the team together to reveal the findings.
“It’s not just quantum noise,” Amelia began, her voice vibrating with anticipation, “it’s… it’s structured. It’s a pattern, not of geological or physical nature, but… artificial.”
A silence swept across the lab, the implication of Amelia’s words sinking in. An artificial structure in the quantum realm was previously unheard of. It defied everything they knew about nature and time. And it was this defiance that set them on a path they couldn’t veer from.
Their journey into the past was about to unfold an unfathomable truth. A civilization lost to time, a civilization that was intelligent, advanced, and had left its indelible mark in the quantum bedrock of the planet. The only question that remained was, who were they?
scientific consultant’s report
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Scientific Consultant’s Report:
The second chapter maintains the momentum from the first, offering more depth into the characters’ working dynamics. Here are my comments:
Quantum Anomaly: The idea of an artificial structure in the quantum realm is exciting and offers a compelling mystery for the scientists to unravel. Keep in mind to gradually unfold the understanding of this structure, and don’t leap too fast to conclusions.
Scientific Process: The detailed description of each scientist’s work is great, and it accurately portrays the meticulous and sometimes slow nature of scientific discovery. The depiction of debates and the challenging of theories within the team is well done.
Character Development: It’s refreshing to see the characters evolve with their work. Their individual expertise and the tension among them create a realistic portrayal of a team of scientists in unknown territory.
Suggestions for the next chapter:
Peer Review: Consider introducing elements of external review and skepticism from the broader scientific community. Real scientific progress often involves a degree of pushback from peers that helps refine and confirm the results.
Scientific Explanation: Start delving deeper into the proposed explanation of how the Troodon civilization managed to leave traces in the quantum realm. This will be a complex task and should involve a deep dive into theoretical physics.
Moral and Ethical Questions: As the team gets closer to confirming their hypothesis, they should start discussing the implications and responsibilities that come with such a discovery. This could be a chance to further develop the characters and set up potential conflicts.
Overall, the story continues to be intriguing and scientifically engaging. Looking forward to the next chapter!
editor’s report
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Editor’s Feedback:
The second chapter builds nicely on the first. The characters and their individual tasks are fleshed out well, adding depth and intrigue. The narrative maintains the anticipation and pacing excellently.
My comments are as follows:
Character Development: The characters’ professional camaraderie is developing well. Consider adding more interpersonal moments, perhaps small dialogues or incidents that reveal more about their personalities, fears, and aspirations.
Revelation: Amelia’s reveal of the artificial structure in the quantum realm is thrilling. You’ve managed to balance the scientific intricacies with the suspense of the plot. However, be cautious not to rush the big revelations.
Scientific Dialogue: The scientific discussion and debates are believable and add authenticity to the story. But remember to keep the balance between hard science and accessibility for the reader.
Suggestions for upcoming chapters:
External Challenges: Start introducing challenges from outside the core team. This can be skepticism from the scientific community, funding issues, or bureaucratic hurdles. These will add another layer of conflict and tension.
Implications of the Discovery: As the team unravels more about the anomaly, consider exploring the philosophical, societal, and ethical implications of such a discovery.
Character Backstory: Weave in some backstory or personal stakes for the characters. This will make readers more invested in their journey.
Overall, the story is engaging and shows great potential. Keep the momentum going, and you’ve got an exciting journey ahead. Looking forward to the next chapter!
revise
ChatGPT
Chapter 2: Unveiling the Unseen
The lab was alive with electricity as each team member dedicated themselves to unraveling the mystery of the anomalous signal. Hiroshi had brought them together for their expertise, but their determination to solve this mystery had formed a bond that transcended their professional roles.
Leila spent countless hours at the electron microscope, examining the geological samples from the site where the anomaly was detected. She was usually a woman of few words, but now she found herself drawn into passionate debates, defending her statistical models and correlation patterns against Aiden’s rigorous challenges.
Across the lab, Amelia and Tabby were engrossed in an elaborate dance of physics and programming. Amelia’s quantum sensor, while revolutionary, was a mystery unto itself. Tabby, with her nimble coding skills, was gradually teasing out the sensor’s secrets. The banter between them was light-hearted, a counterbalance to the seriousness of their work.
Aiden, the skeptical geophysicist, played devil’s advocate. He probed every theory with a precision that could be mistaken for cynicism. But Hiroshi knew better. The veteran scientist had often told Amelia, “Aiden’s skepticism is not an obstacle but a necessary challenge. It will either fortify our hypothesis or tear it down to make way for a better one.”
Days turned into weeks, and the team’s persistence started to bear fruit. The signal they had initially dismissed as ‘noise’ was starting to make sense. Amelia was the first to notice it. The quantum fluctuations the sensor was picking up weren’t random; they followed a pattern—an artificial one.
“Team,” Amelia called one evening, her voice an odd mix of fatigue and excitement, “I think we have something.”
An artificial structure within the quantum bedrock of Earth was a radical concept, one that defied the established norms of geology and paleontology. As they collectively held their breath, staring at the undeniable pattern on the screen, the true magnitude of their discovery began to dawn on them.
“This changes everything,” murmured Hiroshi, his usually calm face reflecting a strange mix of awe and apprehension. He was right; they were no longer just academics in a lab. They were the gatekeepers of a truth that could shake the very foundations of humanity’s understanding of its place in history.
Impressive! The approach could be fully automated, and could generate a full-sized novel without any human guidance.
It seems that one day there will be a Midjourney for books.