So, that was the main issue. And that’s what I tried to convey in the post, not to characterize a user as stupid. I’d be more than happy to change it or make a footnote, but I’m having trouble picking out what precisely to change.
That being said, I’m sure there’s a lot of emotional leakage going on. When it comes to the subject, I’m guessing I’m suffering from the horns effect, so I apologize to everyone for that. There are a number of confounding factors that makes it difficult to extract the main issue.
My only primary issue with nicotine was the health concerns with smoking regular cigarettes. If she had stayed on the e-cigs (which she talked me into mind you), I wouldn’t have been so upset about that. I did however have a fear that even using vaporized nicotine, she might relapse to cigarettes.
The cannabis is complicated. First, I had made a devilish bargain with her on the pretense she would quit. Second, it felt like she needed it to socialize with most of her friends who were also smokers. Third, her dealers and their friends were unscrupulous people and I was constantly concerned for her safety. Fourth, since she was a chronic user, it was frustrating because when she was high I felt isolated and alone. But she expected me to always be “on” and available to help her at a moments notice so the asymmetry was infuriating. Fifth, I was frustrated about how much of a giant money sink it was. And finally, it was impossible to get any validation on any of these things. That’s what I mean by her putting drugs first. It was a lifestyle and in integral part of her identity, so if I was hurting because of it, it was taken as an attack on her identity.
It was the first and last items that really stung me the most.
It sounds like she had a great deal of trouble using drugs responsibly and your great patience in dealing which such a sensitive issue should be lauded. The money sink problems behind substances use are the dropping point for many, If you cant budget your expenses correctly you probably can’t deal with a substance that costs deceivingly low amounts of money tied to a stealthy and long term addictive neurochemical. Vaporization of Nicotine and Cannabis seems like a good solution to the problem but in my experience chronic users usually stick to what they know and pass on the more efficient and safer method against all medical advice.
May I ask what the devilish bargain was perchance? It may be private but my curiosity begs the question.
I thought the issue wasn’t so much the cigarettes and cannabis as that she promised to quit them and then didn’t.
It’s rather complicated I’m afraid.
So, that was the main issue. And that’s what I tried to convey in the post, not to characterize a user as stupid. I’d be more than happy to change it or make a footnote, but I’m having trouble picking out what precisely to change.
That being said, I’m sure there’s a lot of emotional leakage going on. When it comes to the subject, I’m guessing I’m suffering from the horns effect, so I apologize to everyone for that. There are a number of confounding factors that makes it difficult to extract the main issue.
My only primary issue with nicotine was the health concerns with smoking regular cigarettes. If she had stayed on the e-cigs (which she talked me into mind you), I wouldn’t have been so upset about that. I did however have a fear that even using vaporized nicotine, she might relapse to cigarettes.
The cannabis is complicated. First, I had made a devilish bargain with her on the pretense she would quit. Second, it felt like she needed it to socialize with most of her friends who were also smokers. Third, her dealers and their friends were unscrupulous people and I was constantly concerned for her safety. Fourth, since she was a chronic user, it was frustrating because when she was high I felt isolated and alone. But she expected me to always be “on” and available to help her at a moments notice so the asymmetry was infuriating. Fifth, I was frustrated about how much of a giant money sink it was. And finally, it was impossible to get any validation on any of these things. That’s what I mean by her putting drugs first. It was a lifestyle and in integral part of her identity, so if I was hurting because of it, it was taken as an attack on her identity.
It was the first and last items that really stung me the most.
It sounds like she had a great deal of trouble using drugs responsibly and your great patience in dealing which such a sensitive issue should be lauded. The money sink problems behind substances use are the dropping point for many, If you cant budget your expenses correctly you probably can’t deal with a substance that costs deceivingly low amounts of money tied to a stealthy and long term addictive neurochemical. Vaporization of Nicotine and Cannabis seems like a good solution to the problem but in my experience chronic users usually stick to what they know and pass on the more efficient and safer method against all medical advice.
May I ask what the devilish bargain was perchance? It may be private but my curiosity begs the question.
You may, but I can’t tell you in public for reasons, if stated, would probably have the same effect. Instead I’ll cruelly tease you with a riddle.
She said to me “Honey,
I’ve got something to share.”
But something was taken
and can’t be repaired.