Such as the moms in the abusive partners example above: each one could acknowledge her self-deception once it was safe for her abusive partner to know too. She got enough power (financial or social) to protect herself and her child, making the telepathic scan no longer a dire threat.
I would add that most abusive people don’t really like crushing their loved ones and it is sometimes easy to get them to stop, eg by having a peer of the abuser get a private word with the two parties separately. I think it is common for there to be simple miscommunication/misunderstanding — the abuser does not typically actually benefit from the accusative situation.
Why haven’t abuser & abusee already talked and figured this out? Well there is some force field where you can’t have a normal conversation with someone who is hitting you (or you are hitting) about the hitting. Although I don’t know how to put it in your terms here from this post.
In broad strokes I agree with you. Here I was sharing my observation of four cases where a friend was involved this way. One case might have been miscommunication but it doesn’t seem likely to me. The other three definitely weren’t. In one of those I personally knew the guy; I liked him, but he was also emotionally very unstable and definitely not a safe father. I don’t think the abuse was physical in any of those four cases.
Regarding this
I would add that most abusive people don’t really like crushing their loved ones and it is sometimes easy to get them to stop, eg by having a peer of the abuser get a private word with the two parties separately. I think it is common for there to be simple miscommunication/misunderstanding — the abuser does not typically actually benefit from the accusative situation.
Why haven’t abuser & abusee already talked and figured this out? Well there is some force field where you can’t have a normal conversation with someone who is hitting you (or you are hitting) about the hitting. Although I don’t know how to put it in your terms here from this post.
In broad strokes I agree with you. Here I was sharing my observation of four cases where a friend was involved this way. One case might have been miscommunication but it doesn’t seem likely to me. The other three definitely weren’t. In one of those I personally knew the guy; I liked him, but he was also emotionally very unstable and definitely not a safe father. I don’t think the abuse was physical in any of those four cases.
Aw man we used the same word for different things again