So...I actually happen to have converged upon the same insight, and have actually tried to use this exact phrase in the wild.
Unfortunately (being an immigrant) people understandably often assume I was talking about nation-level differences involving my country of birth, rather than my particular family and the specialized microcosm of friends that I surround myself with. Any ideas for making the wording more precise so as to avoid this?
(I’ve tried modifications like “in my family” or “the way I grew up” or “how I was raised” but more or less the same problem occurs. “Among my friends and I” sort of works, sometimes? But mostly I’ve just given up on trying to reference culture in navigating misunderstandings.)
My closest answer would be something like “in my version of utopia,” although maybe that’s too strong? Or perhaps (depending on how nerdy the group is) something like “if I were having this meeting with five clones of me...”?
Another clunkier version is just to port over the WHOLE concept, of not only personal culture but also context culture: “I mean, there’s a sort of thing where we kind of have norms and customs about how to communicate, and maybe they’re a little different from what any individual wants or would do, and that’s good, I’m not trying to say the group norms should exactly match my individual preferences, but like in my own little one-person culture, X, and I imagine maybe some people here didn’t know that.”
I expect that if you abbreviate that to “Hmm. In my own one-person culture, X”, you’d probably accomplish most of the thing.
I notice as I reflect on this that I have separate buckets for “my culture as it actually stands” and “my aspirational culture that I’d like to be true but isn’t actually yet”, which seem differently important.
My closest answer would be something like “in my version of utopia,” although maybe that’s too strong?
I think this implies way too much endorsement. I often find myself editing a document and thinking “in American English, the comma goes inside the quotation marks,” even though “in programming, the period goes outside the quotation marks”.
So...I actually happen to have converged upon the same insight, and have actually tried to use this exact phrase in the wild.
Unfortunately (being an immigrant) people understandably often assume I was talking about nation-level differences involving my country of birth, rather than my particular family and the specialized microcosm of friends that I surround myself with. Any ideas for making the wording more precise so as to avoid this?
(I’ve tried modifications like “in my family” or “the way I grew up” or “how I was raised” but more or less the same problem occurs. “Among my friends and I” sort of works, sometimes? But mostly I’ve just given up on trying to reference culture in navigating misunderstandings.)
My closest answer would be something like “in my version of utopia,” although maybe that’s too strong? Or perhaps (depending on how nerdy the group is) something like “if I were having this meeting with five clones of me...”?
Another clunkier version is just to port over the WHOLE concept, of not only personal culture but also context culture: “I mean, there’s a sort of thing where we kind of have norms and customs about how to communicate, and maybe they’re a little different from what any individual wants or would do, and that’s good, I’m not trying to say the group norms should exactly match my individual preferences, but like in my own little one-person culture, X, and I imagine maybe some people here didn’t know that.”
I expect that if you abbreviate that to “Hmm. In my own one-person culture, X”, you’d probably accomplish most of the thing.
I notice as I reflect on this that I have separate buckets for “my culture as it actually stands” and “my aspirational culture that I’d like to be true but isn’t actually yet”, which seem differently important.
I think this implies way too much endorsement. I often find myself editing a document and thinking “in American English, the comma goes inside the quotation marks,” even though “in programming, the period goes outside the quotation marks”.