Huh, that went somewhere other than where I was expecting. I thought you were going to say that ignoring letter-of-the-rule violations is fine when they’re not spirit-of-the-rule violations, as a way of communicating the actual boundaries.
Perhaps that can work depending on the circumstances. In the specific case of a toddler, at the risk of not giving him enough credit, I think that type of distinction is too nuanced. I suspect that in practice this will simply make him litigate every particular application of any given rule (since it gives him hope that it might work) which raises the cost of enforcement dramatically. Potentially it might also make him more stressed, as I think there’s something very mentally soothing / non-taxing about bright line rules.
I think with older kids though, it’s obviously a really important learning to understand that the letter of the law and the spirit of the law do not always coincide. There’s a bit of a blackpill that comes with that though, once you understand that people can get away with violating the spirit as long as they comply with the letter, or that complying with the spirit (which you can grok more easily) does not always guarantee compliance with the letter, which puts you at risk of getting in trouble.
Huh, that went somewhere other than where I was expecting. I thought you were going to say that ignoring letter-of-the-rule violations is fine when they’re not spirit-of-the-rule violations, as a way of communicating the actual boundaries.
Perhaps that can work depending on the circumstances. In the specific case of a toddler, at the risk of not giving him enough credit, I think that type of distinction is too nuanced. I suspect that in practice this will simply make him litigate every particular application of any given rule (since it gives him hope that it might work) which raises the cost of enforcement dramatically. Potentially it might also make him more stressed, as I think there’s something very mentally soothing / non-taxing about bright line rules.
I think with older kids though, it’s obviously a really important learning to understand that the letter of the law and the spirit of the law do not always coincide. There’s a bit of a blackpill that comes with that though, once you understand that people can get away with violating the spirit as long as they comply with the letter, or that complying with the spirit (which you can grok more easily) does not always guarantee compliance with the letter, which puts you at risk of getting in trouble.