make the other person defensive and less likely to listen to reason...
I guess that’s possible, but why is that my problem?
This is as good a time as any to note a certain (somewhat odd) bias that I’ve long noticed on Less Wrong and in similar places—namely, the idea that the purpose of arguing with someone about something is to convince that person of your views.[1] Whereas, in practice, the purpose of arguing with someone may have nothing at all to do with that someone; you may well (and often do not) care little or nothing about whether your interlocutor is convinced of your side, or, indeed, anything at all about his final views. (This is particularly true, obviously, when arguing or discussing on a forum like Less Wrong.)
Now, here the cached response among rationalists is: “in fact the purpose should be, to find out the truth! together! If you are in fact right, you should want the other person to be convinced; if you are in fact wrong, you should want them to convince you …” and so on, and so forth. Yes, yes, this is all true and fine, but is not the distinction I am now discussing.
This is as good a time as any to note a certain (somewhat odd) bias that I’ve long noticed on Less Wrong and in similar places—namely, the idea that the purpose of arguing with someone about something is to convince that person of your views.[1] Whereas, in practice, the purpose of arguing with someone may have nothing at all to do with that someone; you may well (and often do not) care little or nothing about whether your interlocutor is convinced of your side, or, indeed, anything at all about his final views. (This is particularly true, obviously, when arguing or discussing on a forum like Less Wrong.)
Now, here the cached response among rationalists is: “in fact the purpose should be, to find out the truth! together! If you are in fact right, you should want the other person to be convinced; if you are in fact wrong, you should want them to convince you …” and so on, and so forth. Yes, yes, this is all true and fine, but is not the distinction I am now discussing.
What other reasonable purposes of arguing do you see, other than the one in the footnote? I am confused by your comment.