I believe I had the opposite problem most of my life. I was taught to be humble, to never believe I am better than anyone else, et cetera. Nice political slogans, and probably I should publicly pretend to believe it. But there is a problem that I have a lot of data of people doing stupid things, and I need some explanation. And of course, if I forbid myself to use the potentially correct explanation, then I am pushing myself towards the incorrect ones.
Sometimes the problem is that I didn’t understand something, so the seemingly stupid behavior wasn’t actually stupid, it was me not understanding something. Yes, sometimes this happens, so it is reasonable to consider this hypothesis seriously. But oftentimes, even after careful exploration, the stupid behavior is stupid. When people keep saying that 2+2=5, it could mean they have secret mathematical knowledge unknown to you; but it is more likely that they are simply wrong.
But the worse problem is that refusing to believe in other people’s stupidity deprives you of wisdom of “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” Not believing in stupidity can make you paranoid, because if those people don’t do stupid things because of stupidity, then they must have some purpose doing it. And if it’s a stupid thing that happens to harm you, it means they hate you, or at least don’t mind when you are harmed. Ignorance starts to seem like strategical plausible deniability.
I had to overcome my upbringing and say to myself: “Viliam, your IQ is at least four sigma over the average, so when many people seem retarded to you, even many university-educated people, that’s because they really are retarded, compared with you. They are usually not passively aggressive; they are trying to do their best, their best is just often very unimpressive to you (but probably impressive in their own eyes, and in eyes of their peers). You are expecting from them more than they can realistically provide; and they often even don’t understand what you are saying. And they live in their world, where they are the norm; you are the exception. And it will never change, so you better get used to it, otherwise you prepare yourself for a lifetime of disappointment.”
From that moment, when I see someone doing something stupid, I consider a hypothesis “maybe that’s the best their intelligence allows them to do”. And suddenly, I am not angry at most people around me. They are nice people, they are just not my equals, and it’s not their fault. Often they have a knowledge that I don’t have, and I can learn from them. (Intelligence does not equal knowledge.) But also, they often do something completely stupid that likely doesn’t seem stupid in their eyes. I should not assume that everything they do makes sense. I should not expect them to able to understand everything I am trying to explain; I can try, but I shouldn’t become too involved in it; sometimes I have to give up and accept some stupidity as a part of my environment.
The proper way to work with stupid people is to realize their limitations and don’t blame them for not being what you want them to be. (Of course you should always check whether your estimates are correct. But they are not always wrong.)
I believe I had the opposite problem most of my life. I was taught to be humble, to never believe I am better than anyone else, et cetera. Nice political slogans, and probably I should publicly pretend to believe it. But there is a problem that I have a lot of data of people doing stupid things, and I need some explanation. And of course, if I forbid myself to use the potentially correct explanation, then I am pushing myself towards the incorrect ones.
Sometimes the problem is that I didn’t understand something, so the seemingly stupid behavior wasn’t actually stupid, it was me not understanding something. Yes, sometimes this happens, so it is reasonable to consider this hypothesis seriously. But oftentimes, even after careful exploration, the stupid behavior is stupid. When people keep saying that 2+2=5, it could mean they have secret mathematical knowledge unknown to you; but it is more likely that they are simply wrong.
But the worse problem is that refusing to believe in other people’s stupidity deprives you of wisdom of “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” Not believing in stupidity can make you paranoid, because if those people don’t do stupid things because of stupidity, then they must have some purpose doing it. And if it’s a stupid thing that happens to harm you, it means they hate you, or at least don’t mind when you are harmed. Ignorance starts to seem like strategical plausible deniability.
I had to overcome my upbringing and say to myself: “Viliam, your IQ is at least four sigma over the average, so when many people seem retarded to you, even many university-educated people, that’s because they really are retarded, compared with you. They are usually not passively aggressive; they are trying to do their best, their best is just often very unimpressive to you (but probably impressive in their own eyes, and in eyes of their peers). You are expecting from them more than they can realistically provide; and they often even don’t understand what you are saying. And they live in their world, where they are the norm; you are the exception. And it will never change, so you better get used to it, otherwise you prepare yourself for a lifetime of disappointment.”
From that moment, when I see someone doing something stupid, I consider a hypothesis “maybe that’s the best their intelligence allows them to do”. And suddenly, I am not angry at most people around me. They are nice people, they are just not my equals, and it’s not their fault. Often they have a knowledge that I don’t have, and I can learn from them. (Intelligence does not equal knowledge.) But also, they often do something completely stupid that likely doesn’t seem stupid in their eyes. I should not assume that everything they do makes sense. I should not expect them to able to understand everything I am trying to explain; I can try, but I shouldn’t become too involved in it; sometimes I have to give up and accept some stupidity as a part of my environment.
The proper way to work with stupid people is to realize their limitations and don’t blame them for not being what you want them to be. (Of course you should always check whether your estimates are correct. But they are not always wrong.)