[Question] What are the limits of self-education?

I have exhausted myself thinking of this. Why should I invest time in x if I don’t even know what my y is. Traditional teaching or mentoring approaches objectives by defining what a student must fulfill to truly understand and grasp a topic(s) thoroughly. This can also be translated to “end of term” projects, things that combine the fundamentals that underlie the subject(s) or exercises at the end of sections. Most of these examples are situated in a academic environment, where one feels comfortable enough to be guided and bound to deadlines. Whereas, this is tough to translate outside an academic environment.

My own experience: I recently was interested in learning and teaching myself programming and CS. I began searching through the CS curriculums given by ivy league universities, saw the lecture notes and the core texts, I dared to even look at the exams. The instructors assignments and the core readings were absolutely brutal, even for undergraduates. Part of me envied the students who’ll improve and progress on a whole other level. I mean look at the assignments they’re given! What’s insanely difficult for me will be infinitesimal to them. Eventually I gave up on studying, my efforts and what I consider beneficial to future me are all unrealistic standards.