I’ve been struggling with the question of whether I should leave the SF area to go to my parent″s house in the suburbs of Virginia, and I expect other people are facing similar conundrums. I’ll share my thoughts on it below and would welcome any advice especially anything that I have not considered.
Background: My parents (both 50 − 60) live in a detached house in the Virginia suburbs. It’s very large with 3 floors and many bedrooms and has an inlaw unit. I currently live with 3 roommates, one of whom is my partner, in a tiny apartment in downtown San Francisco. 2 of those roommates have jobs in SF, another is unemployed but unconcerned with the virus, and I’m unemployed, living off saved income and very concerned. Currently we are all asymptomatic, but my partner did fly to Canada last week and has been isolating with no symptoms.
I’m considering whether to take my partner and fly to Virginia to be in our parent’s house, likely early next week. Thoughts
I expect the transmissibility of the virus to be much lower in the suburbs since they are so much more isolated—people driving around in private cars, each with large lots of land. The city is a sea of people. Pro-leaving, for my own safety.
Isolation will be more pleasant at my parents house since the house is much larger. If all four of my roommates were couped up together, which is the ideal case, it would be pretty close quarters for a long time. We have one tiny kitchen and tiny living room. Pro-leaving.
I expect we will be more successful at actually isolating in the suburbs—for one thing my partner will be forced to work remote, for another, stores will be much further away, currently even knowing we should isolate we are continually shopping for groceries, prep supplies, etc.
The SF area seems to have some sustained community transmission. Pro-leaving for my safety, anti-leaving for my parent’s safety.
I expect the virus to be more dangerous to my parent’s health than to me due to their age. This is anti-leaving if I could spread it to them, but pro-leaving if my presence there would encourage them to take it more seriously.
There seems to be a part of my brain that believes this is all an overreaction, although I think there is great cause for concern. I think that may just be normalcy bias talking.
I’m unsure if isolation is a viable long term strategy but isolating for at least a few months gives time for more information and potential treatments. It is unclear when the “best” time to contract the virus would be, outcome wise.
The virus is spreading here more and more, and if I am going to go, I had better go soon as a quarantine could come down or my chance of infecting my parents will go up
I am not working right now and my partner would be able to work remote so income/etc doesn’t really factor into it for the near-term.
I think it shakes out that leaving would be good for my safety and my partner’s safety but bad for the safety of our parents if we transmit it to them. But it’s possible we could even isolate there in the in-law unit.
Something you seem to have not thought of is that if you stay in SF, you’ll probably feel more anxious than if you were staying with your parents. Both due to the risk of getting the virus, and due to questioning whether you should get out of SF. I know that I personally would have those anxieties.
But it’s possible we could even isolate there in the in-law unit.
I thought this was the pretty clear cut answer before you wrote it. Totally endorse. Wear masks on the flight if possible. Ask your parents to stock up or start sending prep packages there (Amazon, Costco delivers)
This doesn’t seem to be advised unless you have professionally fitted N95 masks. Surgical masks and nominally fitted serious masks do a decent job of preventing you from transmitting the virus, but little to protect you. And anecdotally, wearing a mask may cause you to touch your face and mask a lot more, which is on the wrong side of the trade-off.
I think it’s actually not hard to fit N95 masks reasonably well at home. You can google for the fitting guidelines. The most important thing is being aware that you need to pay attention to fit.
A good fit is important, but a completely perfect fit is not required to get substantial protection.
(If you have facial hair, as I do, you will face significant challenges. Otherwise I think good fit is straightforward to achieve. I think it’s easier to achieve with reusable masks than disposable paper ones, but then you have to worry about disinfecting the mask between uses. I have a question below related to this.)
Depending on where the suburbs are delivery is an option. I’m just outside DC (Fairfax County). I suspect Richmond would be similar. Farther south, not so sure.
Thank you for your input. I would like to go but I want to bring my partner with me and she is against it, I think because it feels extreme. My brother thinks it would be dangerous to my parents to travel to them, my father thinks it is inevitable to get the virus everywhere so it would be useless to travel to them. It feels like each is uncomfortable with taking action and justifying that feeling with a different faux-logical screen.
Sigh. I’d like to go and I’ll work on convincing my partner. We went out for dinner today which strengthens my suspicion that as long as we remain here we won’t ever really isolate. My parents have said that I am welcome to come and quarantine in the in-law unit. Thanks for your advice.
EDIT: My partner started to cough, which increased my estimation that we might be incubating it. Still very low chance but it made bringing it home to my parents a more real possibility. I decided to stay and risk it in the city
I’ve been struggling with the question of whether I should leave the SF area to go to my parent″s house in the suburbs of Virginia, and I expect other people are facing similar conundrums. I’ll share my thoughts on it below and would welcome any advice especially anything that I have not considered.
Background: My parents (both 50 − 60) live in a detached house in the Virginia suburbs. It’s very large with 3 floors and many bedrooms and has an inlaw unit. I currently live with 3 roommates, one of whom is my partner, in a tiny apartment in downtown San Francisco. 2 of those roommates have jobs in SF, another is unemployed but unconcerned with the virus, and I’m unemployed, living off saved income and very concerned. Currently we are all asymptomatic, but my partner did fly to Canada last week and has been isolating with no symptoms.
I’m considering whether to take my partner and fly to Virginia to be in our parent’s house, likely early next week. Thoughts
I expect the transmissibility of the virus to be much lower in the suburbs since they are so much more isolated—people driving around in private cars, each with large lots of land. The city is a sea of people. Pro-leaving, for my own safety.
Isolation will be more pleasant at my parents house since the house is much larger. If all four of my roommates were couped up together, which is the ideal case, it would be pretty close quarters for a long time. We have one tiny kitchen and tiny living room. Pro-leaving.
I expect we will be more successful at actually isolating in the suburbs—for one thing my partner will be forced to work remote, for another, stores will be much further away, currently even knowing we should isolate we are continually shopping for groceries, prep supplies, etc.
The SF area seems to have some sustained community transmission. Pro-leaving for my safety, anti-leaving for my parent’s safety.
I expect the virus to be more dangerous to my parent’s health than to me due to their age. This is anti-leaving if I could spread it to them, but pro-leaving if my presence there would encourage them to take it more seriously.
There seems to be a part of my brain that believes this is all an overreaction, although I think there is great cause for concern. I think that may just be normalcy bias talking.
I’m unsure if isolation is a viable long term strategy but isolating for at least a few months gives time for more information and potential treatments. It is unclear when the “best” time to contract the virus would be, outcome wise.
The virus is spreading here more and more, and if I am going to go, I had better go soon as a quarantine could come down or my chance of infecting my parents will go up
I am not working right now and my partner would be able to work remote so income/etc doesn’t really factor into it for the near-term.
I think it shakes out that leaving would be good for my safety and my partner’s safety but bad for the safety of our parents if we transmit it to them. But it’s possible we could even isolate there in the in-law unit.
What haven’t I thought of?
Something you seem to have not thought of is that if you stay in SF, you’ll probably feel more anxious than if you were staying with your parents. Both due to the risk of getting the virus, and due to questioning whether you should get out of SF. I know that I personally would have those anxieties.
I thought this was the pretty clear cut answer before you wrote it. Totally endorse. Wear masks on the flight if possible. Ask your parents to stock up or start sending prep packages there (Amazon, Costco delivers)
This doesn’t seem to be advised unless you have professionally fitted N95 masks. Surgical masks and nominally fitted serious masks do a decent job of preventing you from transmitting the virus, but little to protect you. And anecdotally, wearing a mask may cause you to touch your face and mask a lot more, which is on the wrong side of the trade-off.
I think it’s actually not hard to fit N95 masks reasonably well at home. You can google for the fitting guidelines. The most important thing is being aware that you need to pay attention to fit.
A good fit is important, but a completely perfect fit is not required to get substantial protection.
(If you have facial hair, as I do, you will face significant challenges. Otherwise I think good fit is straightforward to achieve. I think it’s easier to achieve with reusable masks than disposable paper ones, but then you have to worry about disinfecting the mask between uses. I have a question below related to this.)
Agreed.
What’s the state of delivery in your parents’ town? Not having to go to grocery stores is worth a lot.
Depending on where the suburbs are delivery is an option. I’m just outside DC (Fairfax County). I suspect Richmond would be similar. Farther south, not so sure.
Thank you for your input. I would like to go but I want to bring my partner with me and she is against it, I think because it feels extreme. My brother thinks it would be dangerous to my parents to travel to them, my father thinks it is inevitable to get the virus everywhere so it would be useless to travel to them. It feels like each is uncomfortable with taking action and justifying that feeling with a different faux-logical screen.
Sigh. I’d like to go and I’ll work on convincing my partner. We went out for dinner today which strengthens my suspicion that as long as we remain here we won’t ever really isolate. My parents have said that I am welcome to come and quarantine in the in-law unit. Thanks for your advice.
EDIT: My partner started to cough, which increased my estimation that we might be incubating it. Still very low chance but it made bringing it home to my parents a more real possibility. I decided to stay and risk it in the city