I agree on every point. I also think part of this is simply that shared knowledge that is not common knowledge (until acknowledged between parties) is much more difficult to act upon.
I think that “okay, we’re going to have sex now, because it will make us happier” is a little like “okay, I’m going to the gym now, because it will make me feel better”, which may be the same thing you meant about being “in the mood”, but I think it’s even harder for sex, because we are perhaps less willing to see sex except as immediate gratification.
I’ve heard more than once that having more sex on a schedule in the hopes of having children is a miserable experience for couples with fertility problems.
I don’t know whether having more sex in the hopes of being happier (rather than because the people involved want sex more for the fun of it) could have similar side effects.
It’s fairly common for sex therapists to recommend that couples schedule sex and have sex at all (but not only) scheduled times, on the grounds that people may not be in the mood at first, but enjoy it anyway. While it may be a miserable experience for a few people, I doubt that it is miserable in general (and I’m not sure why it would be).
It’s certainly possible for people to have akrasia in regards to pleasure, and scheduling can help with that.
I think possible problems come in if a partner (possibly both partners in the case of fertility) really doesn’t want to at the moment, but is feeling pressured.
I agree on every point. I also think part of this is simply that shared knowledge that is not common knowledge (until acknowledged between parties) is much more difficult to act upon.
I think that “okay, we’re going to have sex now, because it will make us happier” is a little like “okay, I’m going to the gym now, because it will make me feel better”, which may be the same thing you meant about being “in the mood”, but I think it’s even harder for sex, because we are perhaps less willing to see sex except as immediate gratification.
I’ve heard more than once that having more sex on a schedule in the hopes of having children is a miserable experience for couples with fertility problems.
I don’t know whether having more sex in the hopes of being happier (rather than because the people involved want sex more for the fun of it) could have similar side effects.
It’s fairly common for sex therapists to recommend that couples schedule sex and have sex at all (but not only) scheduled times, on the grounds that people may not be in the mood at first, but enjoy it anyway. While it may be a miserable experience for a few people, I doubt that it is miserable in general (and I’m not sure why it would be).
It’s certainly possible for people to have akrasia in regards to pleasure, and scheduling can help with that.
I think possible problems come in if a partner (possibly both partners in the case of fertility) really doesn’t want to at the moment, but is feeling pressured.